To Finally Let Go
by teresa
Summary: Part 12...COMPLETED! That's right, the climactic (or not) final chapter! The baby is born, see how everything turns out!
1. Goodbye

I know what you're thinking, "Teresa, we're still waiting for you to update your other stories!  Don't start another one, baka!"  Okay, so I'll be the first to admit that it isn't wise for me to just let my creative mind wander and distract me from various focus points (a.k.a. homework, stories I'm in the middle of, the really overdue library book I need to finish, my dirty room, etc.) but I…I can't help it!  I just had this idea and I had to write it out!  I'm sorry!  Blame…um…blame…*looking around desperately for a scapegoat*…blame Yusho!  *Points to the stuffed panda she stole—ah, _borrowed_ from Jade when she left for college* He told me to!  I sleep with him every night, and every night he lays there, whispering evil words in my ear, encouraging my irresponsible behavior!  "Oh, they want to read the next part of 'A Taste of Humanity' but it would be _much_ better if you started writing that story for Jade first." He whispers.  "Now that they want more 'All I Needed Was You,' you should start a new fic!  Here, I will give you ideas!  Painful ideas that will dig at your mind until you write them out!"  Oh Yusho, you treacherous fiend you!  Everyone's upset with you now, not me because I have nothing to do with all this!  *Yusho makes a sad face*  Oh, okay, so it's really my fault.  On with the new story.

Hey, has anyone noticed that I practically never remember to put a disclaimer on these things?  Oh well.  I don't own much.  But I do own Yusho, two pet snails, my blanket, this computer, and the HG Gundam Sandrock Custom model complete with little paintable Quatre figure.  I own some other stuff, but those are my most prized possessions, and if you try to take them, I will very likely put up ridiculously violent resistance.  Okay, was that a disclaimer?  Oh, I forgot to say that I specifically don't own any of the characters in this anime.  I bet no one read this whole thing.  I bet a few of you got to the part with me blaming my teddy bear, and just said "what a crackhead" and skipped straight to the story.

*****

To Finally Let Go

Part 1

*****

_Feels like I'm starting all over again_

_The last three years were just pretend_

_And I say_

_Goodbye to you_

_Goodbye to everything_

_I thought I knew_

_You were the one I loved_

_The one thing that I tried to hold on to_

-Michelle Branch _Goodbye to You_

"So this is it, then?" Sango's eyes widened as Kagome's words finally registered with her.  No one else had responded to her explanation yet.  "You're leaving for good?"

"I…I might be able to visit, but if I do, it will only happen once a year."  Kagome answered quietly.  She hadn't exactly expected them to all be thrilled when she explained that she was moving to a different country to go to college in her world, but she also hadn't expected so much shocked silence.  "It is very far away, and I will only be able to come home once a year, so that will be when I come to visit.  I just wanted to explain this to you guys before I left because I didn't want you to not know where I was and why I wasn't coming to see you nearly as often.  I didn't want you to think that I'd forgotten all of you, or that you just didn't matter to me.  Do you all understand?"

"What's college?  Why do you have to go so far?" Shippo asked, leaping forward into Kagome's lap and clutching the fabric of her shirt in two tiny fists as his lip trembled.  Kagome gave the tiny kitsune a motherly smile.  Shippo had grown very important to her, all of them had, but Shippo had always made her feel so…needed.  It was a wonderful feeling.

"Shippo-chan, please don't be sad." She scooped him up in her arms, smoothing his constantly wild hair in a protective gesture.  "College is a type of school.  It's where people in my world go after they go to high school so that they can learn enough to get a very good job.  There are lots of different colleges, but some are better than others.  I get to go to a very nice one, which is very good for my future, but it's in a different country, so that's why I have to go far away.  I wish I could be closer to home and to all of you, but the fact of the matter is that I need to place more emphasis on my life in that world.  I can't simply come live here with all of you."

"But why not?" Shippo was not satisfied, but she knew that he would eventually accept whatever decision she made, even if it caused her to be far away from him.

"Because, this is not my home, Shippo-chan.  I have a world of my own, and I have spent so much time here trying to collect the Shikon shards that I sometimes forgot that.  But we finished the jewel last year.  I'm not needed here, and the only reason I've made sure to keep returning is that I care so much about all of you.  We had an adventure together, and even though there were times when it was frightening or the future was unsure, we made it through together.  That brought us all very close, and I can't ever forget the bond we share." Kagome set Shippo down and let her eyes raise to take in the other four people in the room.  "All of you are very important to me, but honestly, we all knew the day would come when we had to part ways.  I don't belong here, and I think you all know that."

"Kagome-sama is right." Miroku spoke to the others before turning to Kagome, "But that doesn't mean we're glad to see you go."

"I know." Kagome nodded, smiling sadly at the monk.  "I'm not asking you to celebrate, though.  I'm only asking that you understand why I have to leave."

"We understand, Kagome.  Thank you for explaining it to all of us." Kaede nodded slightly.  "And thank you for coming to say goodbye to all of us.  It has meant a lot to everyone here that you _have_ continued to visit us even after the completion of the jewel.  But please do not think that we do not need you at all.  You are important to all of us, and not because you are the protector of the jewel.  It is because you are Kagome."

"Oh, Kaede," Kagome's eyes became wet with unshed tears.  "I will miss all of you so much!"

"Inuyasha, aren't you going to say something?" Sango asked the dog demon who was sulking in the corner, his arms crossed over his chest and a stubborn look on his face.  He hadn't said one word since Kagome had explained that she was leaving.

"Yeah Inuyasha, you better say something nice or Kagome will sit you!" Shippo threatened.

"Feh!" Inuyasha grumped, tilting his chin upwards and shutting his eyes stubbornly.

"Leave him alone, Shippo-chan." Miroku spoke in a whisper that was intentionally too loud.  "Inuyasha thinks that if he doesn't acknowledge the situation, Kagome won't leave."

"That's a stupid thing to think!" Shippo exclaimed.

"Inuyasha can be very stupid sometimes." Sango concurred.  Inuyasha growled, turning away from them further as if trying his best not to pay attention to what they were saying.

"Yes, he acts like a child, but even Shippo-chan is more mature than him." Kaede commented.  Kagome sighed sadly because it appeared as though Inuyasha wasn't going to say goodbye to her.

"You guys, stop it.  If he doesn't want to talk he doesn't have to." Kagome told them all, her voice pained.

"As you wish." Miroku conceded and the rest of them turned back to her.

"So when do you leave, Kagome-chan?" Sango asked.

"Actually…" Kagome looked at her watch and stood, "I have to get going now.  Should I say goodbye here, or would you guys like to come to the well with me?"

"I'm coming!" Shippo exclaimed, hopping up in his excitement.  Kagome had definitely expected that.

"We'll all come see you off." Miroku stated as Sango and Kaede rose as well.  Inuyasha, however, remained firmly planted in the corner of the room.

"All except for that one, it seems." Kaede sighed in annoyance at Inuyasha's childish behavior.

"I'm sorry he's acting this way, Kagome-chan." Sango gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Should I eat him?" Shippo transformed into a cute pink balloon, and Kagome giggled at how he was completely incapable of looking the least bit threatening.

"No, please don't, Shippo-chan." Kagome smiled fondly at him as he de-transformed.  She turned to the others, who were watching her expectantly.  "I'd like to say goodbye to Inuyasha, so could you all please wait for me outside?" she asked.

"Yes, of course." Miroku ushered the others out, picking up Shippo who didn't want to be separated from his precious Kagome at this moment, no matter what the reason.

"Why do I have to go too?" he asked, baring tiny fangs and flailing his arms in resistance.

"Behave yourself, Shippo-chan." Sango scolded as the door closed.  Kagome shook her head slightly as they left before turning to the man moping in the corner.  He had changed a lot since she first met him, but sometimes he seemed to be just as selfish and ridiculous as he always had.  She supposed she shouldn't be surprised that he was acting this way right now, but she had honestly hoped that Inuyasha would show a bit more maturity in this situation.

"Inuyasha," she began, not knowing how to talk to someone who wasn't going to respond to anything she said.  She wished he wasn't acting so childish at such an important time.  "Inuyasha, I have to leave now.  I may not be able to see you for quite some time."  Inuyasha didn't move from his position.  He was still sulking like a spoiled child who was upset that his parents wouldn't buy him a new toy, and Kagome's patience was beginning to wear thin.  Didn't he at least care enough to say goodbye to her?  "Inuyasha, would you please say something?  I hate it when you act this way." She dropped down in front of him, grabbing his shoulders in both hands.  "Please, I really want to say goodbye to you."  Inuyasha didn't respond except to grunt in anger and pull out of her grasp, turning away.

"What do you expect to happen if you act this way?  Do you honestly think this childish behavior will make me stay here?" she yelled at him, her patience snapping.  "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to stay!" he turned back angrily.

"I can't, and you know it!  And when you act like such an idiot, it doesn't make me want to stay here, Inuyasha!  It only makes me glad that I'm leaving!" She shouted back, leaning in toward him.

"If you want to leave so badly, than why are you still here?" he asked, also leaning in angrily.

"Because I thought maybe I could get an honest goodbye from you, but apparently you'd rather I remember you as a selfish jerk!" she yelled at him.

"You're the selfish one, leaving all of us so that you can go to some stupid college!" Inuyasha growled at her.  Kagome's eyes widened and she slapped him across the face.  Inuyasha's jaw dropped, amazed that she had hit him, but Kagome was still fuming.

"You're so self-centered, I can't believe it!" she screamed at him in a rage, "How dare you insult me!  How dare you insult my decisions!  It's hard enough for me to leave you without having to deal with this!  Can't you for once at least _pretend_ that you care about someone besides yourself?"

"I…I'm sorry…I…" Inuyasha was still completely in shock from the slap.  He stared at Kagome with wide-eyed surprise.  Realizing what she had done, Kagome suddenly stopped in her rampage and covered her face with both hands, shaking her head vigorously.

"Inuyasha, I didn't mean to do that, I just…I was so angry…" she told him, grabbing his shoulder as though she was willing him to understand.  "I really didn't mean to hit you…did it hurt?"

"Feh!  Of course it didn't!"  Inuyasha was suddenly himself again.  "Like a weak human girl like you could possibly hurt me."

"I guess not." Kagome gave him a small smile.  "But I seriously am very sorry.  I shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay, I might have been acting kind of…weird." Inuyasha admitted.  "But I just didn't want you to leave, and I didn't know what else to do."

"You could just tell me that you'll miss me instead of acting so silly." Kagome smiled tenderly at him.

"Kagome," Inuyasha engulfed her in a possessive hug.  "I'll miss you." He whispered into her hair.  Kagome gasped, not expecting him to show such strong emotions.

"I…Inuyasha…I…" she murmured, not knowing exactly how to respond.

"Do you promise you'll visit?" he asked her in a voice so intense she was almost afraid to say no.

"Of course I will." She told him, relishing the feel of his arms around her.  "And you could always come visit me, you know.  I'm sure it's no trouble for a powerful youkai like you."

"Hanyou." He corrected.

"But…before I left, I wanted you to have this." Kagome backed away so that she could take off the chain she always wore that carried the Shikon jewel on it.  "I've thought about this a long time, and I know how much this means to you.  Also, if you make a wish on this jewel, it will disappear and no one will ever misuse it again.  I want you to have it.  You worked harder than anyone else for it."

"I…thank you…" Inuyasha took the jewel from her, but he couldn't believe that he had it after all this time.  "I promise I'll be careful with it.  I'll use it the right way."

"I know you will." Kagome smiled.  "Now, there's one more thing I need to do before I leave."  Kagome reached forward, her hands drifting over Inuyasha's neck, and for a moment, he thought that she was going to kiss him.  And the strange part was, this didn't bother him at all.  Instead, though, she pulled the rosary beads off of him gently.  He stared at her in disbelief.  This really was it.  She had freed him and given him the jewel he had worked so hard for.  Now there was nothing left to tie them together.

"You…you didn't have to take it off.  Only you can make it work, so it wouldn't matter if you were gone." He told her, feeling slightly disappointed that they didn't have that thing to tie them together anymore.

"No, I had to.  I should have done it a long time ago, but I needed to learn to let go of you first." She told him, touching his cheek lightly before picking up the beads and standing to leave.  "Are you coming?"

"I think I'd rather remember you alone.  It's my memory, and no one else's." he spoke, for once sounding thoughtful.  Kagome was momentarily speechless, but then she leaned over to kiss the tip of his nose.

"You're wrong.  It's mine as well." She smiled sweetly before she left, and Inuyasha let out a huge breath as the door closed.  For some reason, he felt like there had just been a huge turning point in his life, and it upset him to know that he'd had no choice in the matter.  Or had he?

*****

The End (Of Part 1, That Is)


	2. Learning to Forget

I'm baaack!  Man, I'm some kind of updating machine these days, I'll tell you what.  Somehow I've found this whole equilibrium between trying to write, do my homework, and spend time with friends.  I am like a superhero type of student!  Dododoo!  Okay, maybe not.  Maybe I should just get to the damn story.

*****

To Finally Let Go

Part 2

*****

_And every time I'm close to you_

_There's too much I can't say_

_And you just walk away._

_And I forgot_

_To tell you I love you._

_The night's too long_

_And cold here without you._

_I grieve in my condition,_

_For I cannot find the words to say_

_I need you so._

-Sarah McLachlan _I Love You_

"Kagome?  Are you coming down for dinner yet?" a girl poked her head into Kagome's dorm.  "You know, that paper will still be there after you finish eating." She told Kagome in a mothering tone.  Kagome had to smile at how Melissa was always trying to take care of her.

"I'm almost finished, actually.  Just let me type up this conclusion and I'll be down right away." Kagome assured her, knowing that Melissa would not take no for an answer.  The other girl narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Okay then, but if you aren't down in ten minutes, I'm coming up here to _drag_ you down.  I swear, it's unhealthy for such a workaholic to get a single.  No roommate to take care of you and make sure you don't rot away doing homework all day."

"I think you more than make up for any kind of nagging a roommate would give me." Kagome rolled her eyes in annoyance.  "Now go so that I can finish this paper!"

"Okay, okay," Melissa waved her hands to ward off some imaginary force.  "I swear, you try to be a little nice and it blows up in your face." Melissa giggled before heading downstairs.

"I don't have time for dinner, dammit." Kagome finished her paper and cracked her neck as she picked up a neatly kept assignment book.  "I need to work on my lab report for next week.  And I really wanted to finish my chemistry reading before eight tonight.  Oh well."  Kagome crossed off one of the items in her book and left the room, locking the door before she headed downstairs.  She smiled at Melissa before going to get her food and bringing it back to eat with her.  She knew Melissa wouldn't be satisfied until Kagome had eaten what she deemed "enough," some vague amount that Kagome could never hope to understand or quantify.  When Melissa was satisfied, she went back upstairs to finish her homework.  

This was a typical evening for Kagome.  Ever since she'd been at college, she had redoubled her efforts to prove herself in school.  She felt that the fact that she was not going to the Sengoku Jidai at least once a week or so was also helping her become more focused and serious.  Overall, she was very proud of herself, but a lot of the other women in her dorm were a bit frightened of the highly intense student from Japan.  Only Melissa seemed oblivious to this, obviously figuring that all Kagome needed was someone to watch out for her.  Kagome was so preoccupied with her schoolwork that she never really noticed that no one seemed eager to invite her along on outings or other such things.  The others would sometimes try to talk to her, but to anyone observing, it was obvious that Kagome made them nervous.  Her sheer determination was a frightening force, and it sometimes made them feel inadequate.  Another problem was that during first term, Kagome had been in a study group, but she would always get upset with anyone who missed a meeting, saying that she was shocked that so many people at this school took education too lightly, and that she was appalled that acceptance standards were so low.  Needless to say, no one in the house wanted to study with Kagome after that.

She didn't seem to notice any of this, though.  Kagome appeared perfectly happy to study alone so that there weren't any people who would slow her down with their lack of dedication.  In fact, Kagome didn't seem to notice that all this time in college and away from her dearest, closest friends had molded her into a cold workaholic who worried more about the legibility of her date book than whether or not there were parties this weekend.  It had been seven months since she'd last seen her family or friends, but she'd begun to worry less and less about them.  Initially, Kagome had wondered day and night what the others were doing, if Inuyasha would hold out a month before he had to come see her, how her family was faring without her.  She'd been so preoccupied with thoughts of home, that she had often cried herself to sleep thinking of how far it was, and how long it would be until she saw it again.  In those days, she got along just fine with all the other people in her dorm and her classes, but then a change had swept over her.  Kagome had realized that if she couldn't concentrate better on her work, her grades would suffer, so she had decided that every time she missed home, she would take that emotion and channel it into energy to do her work.  Before long, she was obsessed with studying, and by this point, she couldn't even remember why it was that she had so much energy for it.  Now, instead of feeling a longing for home, Kagome felt a need to study, and therefore it was almost as if she didn't miss her family and friends at all.  Most of the time.

"Ech, no!  Stupid pen!  Why couldn't you wait until I was done with you to die?" she tossed the useless piece of plastic in her garbage can, reaching into her desk drawer for her package of spare pens.  "Typical." She pulled out the empty package and tossed it aside as well.  "Looks like I'll have to dig into the stock supply."  Kagome rose and went to her closet, standing on her toes to reach the shelf on top where she kept various things she just didn't have room for anywhere else.  She finally felt a familiar plastic and paper package touch her fingertips, and she pulled it forward without realizing that it had other things on top of it.  Thus, Kagome was bombarded by a shower of clothing as well as an old box.

"Kami, I'm such an idiot sometimes." Kagome sighed, tossing the pens onto her bed for later as she bent over and picked up the winter clothes she hadn't worn for a while now.  Gathering them in a hurried bundle, Kagome shoved them back into their spot at the top of the closet before she lowered herself to pick up the box, the contents of which had spilled all over her floor.  Sighing again, she turned the box up right and picked up the stack of pictures, pausing to glance at the top one before she could replace them in the box.

"Souta…" she breathed, letting her fingers drift over the face before flipping through the pictures of her small family.  She'd forgotten that she had these.  Not wanting to forget her studies, Kagome put the pictures back in the box before spotting the other object that had fallen out of the box.  "The rosary…I couldn't recall where I'd put it." Kagome picked up the familiar necklace that had controlled Inuyasha for such a long time.  She wondered momentarily if he had simply forgotten all about her since she left, and she supposed it was possible.  She had freed him of the rosary and given him the Shikon no Tama, effectively giving him the only two things he could ever want from her.  He was probably a full youkai now, with no care for silly human girls.  That, or he'd used the jewel to become a human so he could finally be with Kikyo.  She supposed that was probably his plan all along.  She'd played her part, and now he was through with her.  Angrily, Kagome slammed the box shut and went back to finish her homework.

----------

Melissa paused as she passed Kagome's closed door.  That door was always closed off, just like the girl inside.  But Melissa remembered when Kagome had first come here.  She had been a different person then, full of life and love for her friends and family.  Often times Melissa wondered where that girl had gone, why she had hidden deep inside herself.  Unconsciously smoothing her short red hair that always seemed to do as it pleased, Melissa continued on her path back to her own room.  Maybe she could help Kagome, but sometimes she thought it was too late already.

----------

Inuyasha fingered the Shikon no Tama he wore around his neck.  Somehow, he couldn't make himself use it.  Not yet.  It was the only physical tie he still had to Kagome besides the well.  He supposed that if he used it, though, the youkai attacks would stop.  They had been persistent ever since Kagome had left.  Somehow they all knew that the strange priestess from another world had left it with the "lowly hanyou."  Though they had never voiced it, Kagome had made them nervous.  Not because she was Kikyo's reincarnation, or even because she had helped kill Naraku in the end, though that was part of it.  In the end, it all came down to a sense of mystery that she carried with her.  She had come from another world, tamed the behavior of two youkai, even if one was a hanyou and the other a child, and had gathered around her an unstoppable group of warriors that no youkai could last against, not even Naraku.  Inuyasha figured that the remaining youkai had thought she had some kind of magic stronger than that of a priestess, something they couldn't quite define, and that had kept them from being brave enough to try and take back the Shikon no Tama.  But now that she was gone, the spell was broken.

"I should bring her back." Inuyasha muttered to himself.

"You'll never learn to sleep, will you Inuyasha." A voice behind him startled Inuyasha, and he jumped, turning to stand in a defensive position, but it was only Sango.

"Dammit, don't do that.  I could've killed you." He hissed angrily, letting his pulse slow down as she moved to stand beside where he had been resting on the banister just outside Kaede's house.

"You wouldn't hurt me," Sango gave him an amused smile when he glared at her challenge.  "But I'm sorry I surprised you.  I thought that no one would be out here."

"Well _you're_ here, aren't you?" he asked angrily.

"I suppose that's true.  Miroku was flailing around in his dreams, so I couldn't sleep." She explained.  "What's your excuse?"

"Feh." Inuyasha crossed his arms, affecting a pout.  "As if I need to explain myself to you."

"Fair enough." Sango sighed, watching him for awhile until she noticed that he kept unconsciously reaching up to touch the Shikon no Tama where it rested under his robes.  "You miss her, don't you?"

"W—what do you mean?" Inuyasha stood up straight becoming defensive immediately.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Inuyasha.  We all do."  Sango assured him, smiling at the hanyou warmly.  "And don't bother trying to hide it.  We've all learned to read you, even Shippo-chan."

"Well, maybe I do." Inuyasha admitted.  "What about it?"

"Why don't you just go see her?" Sango wanted to know.  "We've all been wondering, but no one's worked up the nerve to ask you yet.  What's stopping you?"

"I just…whatever, it doesn't matter."  Inuyasha suddenly switched back to his normal, guarded personality.  "She'll be back to see us soon anyway.  Didn't she say she needed to go off for herself and live her own life.  If I—any of us were there, that'd mess it all up.  She doesn't want us there."

"Are you sure?" Sango asked.  "A lot has happened since Kagome left, and I wonder if she's changed as much as you have.  Maybe she needs you there to make her remember who she is."

"I haven't changed!" Inuyasha shot back angrily.  "And I can't leave so that Miroku and you have to deal with the youkai all by yourselves."

"You have changed, and you know that the only reason they attack is because you're here and she isn't.  They see better than even you do that you _need_ Kagome."  Sango paused and gave him a small, mocking smile.  "Besides, we're all sick and tired of your pouting and moping.  We don't want to deal with it."

"You're not funny." He told her, glaring.

"I just thought that maybe you'd matured enough by now.  I thought you would be ready to be with her for good." Sango shrugged, pointing to the round lump under his upper robe.  "You still have that, though, so I suppose I may have been wrong."

"What's that mean?" Inuyasha hissed.

"I can't stand out here all night explaining everything to you.  You're just going to have to figure some of it out for yourself." Sango sighed in fatigue.  "Good luck." She told him before going back inside.

"I don't need _anything_." Inuyasha pulled the Shikon no Tama out so he could hold it in his hand.  "Damn woman doesn't know what she's talking about."  Just because he was miserable with Kagome gone didn't mean that he needed her, didn't mean he wanted her to need him, didn't mean he loved her in the least.  "Feh!" he snorted at no one in particular as he clutched the jewel and made off toward the well.  He spent more time at the bone-eater well than most any other place.  He had even slept there some nights, arguing with himself over whether or not he should go see Kagome.  Over whether or not she'd _want_ to see him.  He looked at the jewel in his hand thoughtfully.

"I promised I'd be careful, and I have.  But now, I'm not sure of what I want." He spoke to the jewel, almost expecting Kagome to answer.  What would she want him to do with it?  What was Sango hinting at?  "To be with her for good…" Inuyasha mused when an idea suddenly hit him.  Without hesitation, he swallowed the jewel before jumping down the well.

_I'm coming_.

*****

The End (Of Part 2, That Is)


	3. Too Late For Love

Oh my goodness, so many reviews!  I'd like to thank all of you, but specifically, I'd like to thank Jade, I know how busy you are, but you're never too busy for you're onee-chan!  I love you!  And additional plug to anyone who hasn't seen me do this before, Jade has a hilarious Inuyasha…well, I suppose it could be a songfic even though she wrote the song…whatever, it's hilarious!  I recommend that you all check out "The Shippo-chan Rap" after you finish here because it had me cracking up so hard I couldn't breathe.  Plus, after all this seriousness…kinda…we all need a laugh!  Also, thanks to Madeleine for her faithful…erm, lengthened reviews and for putting up with my craziness on a daily basis and being my east coast mommy!  Also, I don't really know this third person, but Jade and I LOVE her fic, "Shared Blood" and we're both reading it from opposite sides of the country.  Just something more to link us, I suppose.  And I was sooo happy when I saw that she reviewed this.  Lazuli is one of my favorite authors, and it really gets me pumped to know that someone whose work I enjoy so much likes my work as well!  Yee!  Okay, I'm going to write things now! Whew.

*****

To Finally Let Go

Part 3

*****

_To what do I owe this gift my friend?  
My life, my love, my soul?  
I've been dancing with the devil way too long  
And it's making me grow old  
Making me grow old_

-Creed _Hide_

As he swallowed the glass bead that had caused so much turmoil, Inuyasha concentrated on his wish and jumped into the well.  As he fell, his entire body tingled with strange energy and the world went completely black as he lost consciousness.

_I'm coming._ He thought before the inky blackness smothered his determination.

_I'm coming._

----------

_I'm coming._ A voice spoke suddenly inside of Kagome's mind as she carefully placed her finished paper in plastic page protectors.  In her surprise, she dropped the sheets to the ground and spun around, expecting to see someone standing behind her, whispering in her ear.  But she was alone.  She was always alone.

"Great, now I'm hearing voices.  Really good, Kagome." She spoke as she picked up the papers and put them back in order, placing them in her knapsack.  "Maybe I just need to take a walk.  I did finish all my work after all.  There shouldn't be any harm in…what the?" as she spoke, Kagome moved to open her door, but something was blocking it.  "I'm stuck in my room, wonderful."  Kagome sighed wondering if the obstruction would be gone come morning.  She supposed she'd find out.

But still, it was bothersome.  What was blocking her door?  Who had put it there?  Why would anyone do that?  It certainly wasn't funny, and the worst part was she knew that if it was gone by morning, the culprit would never be caught.  That wasn't right.  "It doesn't matter, really." Kagome pouted as she pulled on her pajamas, but her eyes kept drifting back to the door.  "I don't really care." She stated, as though trying to convince herself of this.  It didn't seem to be working very well.

"Well…I do need to go brush my teeth." Kagome justified her actions as she returned to the door and began pushing against the seemingly rock solid obstruction.  "Ugh, feels like it ways a thousand pounds." Kagome growled, backing up and bashing into the door with her shoulder.  The door budged open just a bit.  Kagome smirked, sticking her foot out and working the gap until it was large enough for her whole leg.  Leaning against the door with her whole body, Kagome wriggled until she had escaped from her room.  Letting out a triumphant laugh, Kagome looked down at her obstruction and promptly fainted from surprise.

----------

Kagome cuddled her body further into her bed as she felt the first rays of daylight hitting her eyelids.  Her alarm clock would go off soon, but until then, she was enjoying every moment of sleep she got.  She felt warm and safe, almost like someone was protecting her.  Probably because of the dream she'd had last night.  She had dreamt that Inuyasha was there, outside of her room, sleeping against her door so that no one could get in unless they got past him.  It was strange, she hadn't even thought about Inuyasha for some time.  It must have been triggered by her rediscovery of his rosary the night before.  Yawning, Kagome rolled over and opened her eyes slowly to check the time.

Kagome promptly shrieked and leapt out of bed when her eyes met a steady violet gaze.  "Who the hell are…" Kagome rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and squinted at the smirking individual resting on his haunches.  "I…Inuyasha?"

"Who the hell do you think put you in bed after you decided to fall asleep in the middle of the hall?" he asked, but there was a softness in his tone that belied the harshness of his words.  "It's a miracle you've lived this long, just falling over any time and passing out."

"What…what do you mean…that was just…a dream?" she was suddenly unsure of her memories.

"Sure, it was a dream, and I just happen to still be here."  He told her.  "That kinda thing happens a lot, I'm sure."

"Well…I mean, what are you doing here?" Kagome asked, blurting out the first words that came to her lips.

"I don't really know.  I woke up here after I…decided to come see you." Inuyasha didn't know how to explain what had happened with the Shikon no Tama yet.  He didn't think he could really understand it himself.

"Decided to come see me, huh?" Kagome put her hands on her hips and looked him over.  "A human now, are you.  I should've guessed you'd choose to be with her.  So where is she now?"

"Kikyo?" Inuyasha asked, quirking his head curiously.

"Of course, who else would you become human for?" Kagome asked, practically spitting the words out.  Inuyasha gasped in shock at her tone.  Something about Kagome was…different.  She'd always been jealous of Kikyo, but now it seemed more like she was bitter.  Like she'd given up.  "Well, where is she?"

"Kikyo…she's dead." He managed to speak while staring at her, wondering if this could really still be his Kagome.

"Well that's nothing new.  We all know she's dead, although you've been in denial about it.  Where _is_ she?" Kagome asked impatiently.

"She's _gone_!  She's gone forever!" Inuyasha yelled, angered by her spiteful tone.  What had _he_ done to upset her so much?  "She's in hell!  Is that what you wanted to hear?  Are you happy?"  Kagome appeared surprised for a moment, but then the cold exterior returned.

"You don't have to get so worked up about it." She told him in an icy tone.  "Now, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted…I wanted to see you again."  He told her softly, still slightly hurt by her angry tone.

"That's very sweet." She told him, her voice dripping sarcasm.  "Well here I am.  Now leave." She spoke in a flat tone.

"But…I just got here." Inuyasha was utterly confused.  Hadn't she missed him?  Didn't she want to see him?  "You said…when you left you said I could come visit you."

"I was stupid then." Kagome hissed, narrowing her eyes.  "I don't want you here.  You'll only get in my way."  Inuyasha's mouth fell open.  This couldn't be the girl he'd seen seven months ago.  The girl he'd held tight, telling her he'd missing her, making her promise to visit.  The girl who had smiled sweetly and kissed the tip of his nose, leaving him to think of her in almost all his waking hours.  The girl who'd put up with him no matter how selfish or immature he acted.  The girl who had said she'd always stay by his side.  This wasn't her.

"Where did you go?" Inuyasha didn't realize he'd spoken the last words until it was too late.  Kagome rolled her eyes at him in irritation.

"What do you _mean_?  I'm right here." She asked.

"I just…you seem so different." He told her.  _You don't seem to care for anyone anymore._

"I grew up.  I see you haven't.  Somehow, I'm not all that surprised." She told him coldly.  "Are you leaving yet?"  As she spoke, Inuyasha's shock and pain dissolved into rage, an anger he couldn't hold back even if he wanted to.  He shot up to his feet, leaning in angrily and sticking out his jaw.

"What the hell is wrong with you?  Why are you such a bitch?" he yelled at her.  "I missed you, dammit!  And I thought you'd want to see me again, but you just can't wait to see me leave!  You lied when you said you'd miss me!" he accused.

"I didn't lie!  You're the one that lied!" she shot back.  "I missed you all the time, but you never came to see me!  I'm sure you couldn't wait for me to leave so you could become human for your precious corpse!  I see that didn't work out, but don't expect me to take you in now that your heart's been broken!  You don't know what I've been through!  You have no idea how much I cared about you, and you couldn't care less!"

"I didn't turn human for her!" Inuyasha growled, balling up his fists.  "I did it for you, you ungrateful bitch!"

"Liar!" she accused.  "You would never do that for me, you liar!  You never cared about me!"

"That's a lie!  You know I did!"  Inuyasha yelled back.

"You expect me to believe that cheap story?" Kagome hissed.  "Good luck!  I know that you never loved me!  You loved Kikyo, and that's who—mmph!"  Inuyasha, thoroughly frustrated with what Kagome was saying, covered her mouth with his own, kissing her forcefully, as though he was trying to push all his feelings into her so that she would believe him.  Kagome pushed him away, though, slapping his face sharply.  "Bastard!  How dare you!  Don't you ever try that on me again!"

Inuyasha stared at her in shock.  She had pushed him away?  He thought that she'd loved him.  Hadn't she just said that she cared for him?  "I…didn't mean…I'm sorry." Inuyasha apologized with some difficulty.  "I…misunderstood."

"What's there to misunderstand?" Kagome demanded.

"I just…wanted you by my side."  Inuyasha explained, "I thought…I thought that's what you wanted."

"I don't want to be your second choice, Inuyasha." Kagome told him angrily.

"You weren't!  I didn't do this for Kikyo!  Don't you care?" Inuyasha asked, his emotions taking over.  He was having a hard time controlling them, since he was a human now.

"I used to." She admitted, and for a moment, her face was that of the Kagome that Inuyasha remembered, the one he'd eventually fallen in love with, though it took her absence for him to admit it to himself.  But then her voice and face changed back to ice.  "But that was a long time ago.  Everything's changed.  I've changed, and you aren't what I want anymore.  Now leave." She pointed to her door as though to emphasize her order.  Inuyasha gulped.  How would he explain this?

"I can't." he told her simply.

"Why not?" she wanted to know.

"I'll…I'll show you." He licked dry lips, not really wanting to have to deal with this again, but it was the only way.  "Stay here." He instructed as he left the room.  Kagome snorted incredulously.  _What's he up to?_  She wondered as the distance between them increased as he went down the stairs and out the front door.  She looked out her window at his retreating figure, and noticed a curious twinge in her chest beginning to grow stronger with each step he took until it became an unbearable pain.  Falling to the ground, she clutched at her chest and wondered in a panic what was causing this pain.  Slowly, it subsided until it had completely faded away and she felt a warm comfort flood over her, as well as a feeling of safety.  She turned around and saw Inuyasha standing in her doorway.

"Do you see now?" he asked.

"What…what have you done to me?" she asked, standing up and glaring at him.

"I didn't do it.  Not on purpose, at least.  I didn't know this would happen when I made the wish." Inuyasha explained in a voice that was almost apologetic.

"Wish?" she asked.

"On the Shikon no Tama.  I wished to always have you beside me.  I think the wish was kind of…taken literally." He told her.  "I became a human, obviously so I could live in your world, and then there's…that."  Kagome rubbed her temples and sighed deeply.

"So what am I supposed to do now?" she demanded.  "I can't have you here.  You'll get in the way and I'll never get my work done.  Thanks for nothing, you idiot."

"I didn't mean to!" he exclaimed.  "You don't have to get all worked up about it!"

"I'm not the one who's yelling for no reason." She told him angrily.  "You stay here and don't touch _anything_.  I need to take a shower and think about all this."  Kagome slammed the door behind her.  Inuyasha simply crossed his arms and pouted.  _Like I'd really want to touch her stupid stuff._

*****

The End (Of Part 3, That Is)


	4. The Way Things Were

Okay, earlier tonight, I got off work and came upstairs to rest for a bit before going out with my friends, and I was sooo tired that I just fell stone dead asleep.  And since I grew up with four siblings, I have conditioned myself to ignore all noises that aren't my alarm clock, so when they kept calling my room I was sound asleep still.  And I guess I accidentally hit the lock on the door, and I NEVER lock my door, so they got scared and left all these notes on my door about how they thought I was dead or trapped in the walk in freezer and the BEST is how they _tried to bust into the kitchen to make sure I_ wasn't _in there_!  Priceless!  Oh, it's good to have friends, but sometimes, there are moments when you wish that you could all psychically communicate.  Anyway, the point of this is now I'm wide-awake because of my refreshing sleepy time, so I'm giving you…can you guess?  I bet you can!  A new chapter!  Yay!  All rejoice and love me!  Yyeyeyeeeyeyey.  Okay…too many cookies for me.  By the way, Madeleine, I think we _all_ know he really wanted to touch her stuff. hehe

*****

To Finally Let Go

Part 4

*****

Love took me by the hand Love took me by surprise 

_Love led me to you_

_And love opened up my eyes_

-Michelle Branch _Drop In The Ocean_

Inuyasha was still sulking on Kagome's bed when she returned, wet hair wrapped in a towel, body clad in a bathrobe.  She gave the former hanyou an exasperated expression.  "What?" he asked defensively, sitting up straighter.  "I _didn't_ touch your damned stuff."

"Congratulations.  I can trust you with my pens." Kagome told him sardonically before pointing to the door.  "Now go stand out there.  I need to get dressed."

"Fine!" he jutted his chin out as he left only to lean against the door.  At first, he'd been too shocked by the change in Kagome to defend himself, but now he was in defensive mode, and he'd manage just fine.  It didn't make sense that she was being so…so pigheaded.  For some reason he wasn't sure of anymore, Inuyasha had imagined that she'd be happy to see him.  He'd imagined her being ecstatic about his wish.  Inuyasha closed his eyes, lazily daydreaming.

                _"Kagome, I've come to see you." Inuyasha told her.  She clapped her hands together, her eyes widening happily as she smiled at him._

_                "Oh, Inuyasha!  How I've missed you.  Everyday is so boring with nothing but these stupid books and classes.  I just can't be happy unless you're here!"_

_                "I know, Kagome.  That's why I've finally made my wish." Inuyasha pointed to his hair, indicating his obvious human form.  Kagome sparkled prettily and sighed happily._

_                "Inuyasha!  You can't mean…you've turned human…for me?" she fluttered her eyelashes in excitement as Inuyasha nodded, giving her a charming smile.  "Oh, Inuyasha!  I                 love you so much!  Let's be together forever, and I'll never leave you alone ever ever again!"_

_                "Of course, Kagome.  I love you as well and I won't leave you." Inuyasha told her as she flew into his arms for a warm kiss._

"It should've been like that, but she had to fuck it up with her damn attitude." Inuyasha muttered, crossing his arms as he began to pout.  Just then, he looked up to see a girl with short red hair giving him a questioning stare.  "What do you want?" he asked, in a foul mood.

"Um…excuse me, but are you lost?" the girl asked unsurely.  Unfortunately, Inuyasha didn't speak any English.

"What the hell did you just say?" he narrowed his eyes at the girl just as the door opened and Inuyasha almost fell forward as Kagome stepped out.

"Idiot, that wouldn't happen if you didn't lean on my door that way." Kagome glared at him and he just looked away with a tastefully placed "feh."

"Hey, Kagome, do you know this guy?  I don't think he speaks English." Melissa looked a little frightened by the indignant glare Inuyasha was shooting her for _daring_ to speak in a language he wasn't familiar with.

"Yeah, he's from back home.  I'd teach him, but he's such a brainless idiot it would never happen." Kagome explained.  "He's visiting me for a while, so he'll be going to classes with me while he's here.  I can't leave in my room all day because he acts like a three-year-old and he'd break everything."

"Wow…that's a bit mean, Kagoome." Melissa frowned slightly at Inuyasha, who now seemed doubly enraged that Kagome was also refusing to speak in a language he knew.  "Are you guys…friends?"

"Not really." Kagome replied, shooting Inuyasha a quick glare.  Strangely, he seemed a bit satisfied by this, as if he'd only wanted some attention.  "He's just here to see if he can drive me insane."

"Ah…is that so…" Melissa was unsure how to proceed.  Emotion flowed strongly between the two, but it was such a mess that she had no idea who felt what.  "Well, I'd better get to class.  Maybe I'll get your friend to teach me how to say 'stop studying and eat your dinner!'   You think?"

"Whatever." Kagome looked down at her watch and then sped off with Inuyasha hot on her heels.  "Dammit, it's your fault if I get there late.  I'm blaming you." Kagome told him after he caught up to her.

"You're the one that thought you had to spend all that time getting clean and getting dressed." Inuyasha offered an indignant challenge.  "What did you say to that girl?  I couldn't understand a damn word of it." Inuyasha managed to make it sound like it was no fault of his own that he did not know English.

"We were talking about what an idiotic nuisance you are.  She thought I was being harsh, but Melissa's always been too accepting of people." Kagome told him, only half paying attention to the man beside her as she crossed the campus to get to her first class.  Inuyasha growled at how easily she was dismissing him.  Though he was sorry about the mistaken interpretation of his wish, Inuyasha had secretly been glad that now she really _wouldn't_ be able to leave him.  But as she headed up the stairs of a big gray building, Inuyasha realized he'd never felt more distant than right now, knowing that he was the last thing she was thinking of.  At least when they were far apart, if he knew she was thinking of him it gave him a certain comfort.  Maybe this wish had been a complete mistake.  Inuyasha may want to always be with Kagome, but it didn't look like the feeling was mutual.  It was almost as though he had cursed her, and himself in the process.

Inuyasha couldn't believe she was telling her friend that he was…an idiot nuisance.  He was a nuisance?  She'd always told him that he was an idiot, and though he'd never admit it, Inuyasha knew she was a lot smarter than him, but she'd never called him a nuisance that he could recall.  It made him feel so unwanted.  Kagome turned to look at him just before they entered a lecture hall.  "Inuyasha, this is serious now.  I am a college student, and my only concern is my classes.  I don't want you to be rude, I don't want you to make any noise, I don't want you to even come in the room.  Look at those clothes.  Disgusting."

"What?" Inuyasha pouted pitifully as she left him to wait outside the room for her.  "What's wrong with my clothes?  They might be a little dirty, but it's not _that_ bad." Inuyasha muttered, crossing his arms as he waited.  She'd never cared before when his clothes had gotten a bit dirty.  It was almost as if she was searching for excuses to be mean to him.  And she didn't seem to be having a hard time finding plenty.

After a while, Inuyasha shifted nervously.  He didn't like being separated from her like this.  Leaning as close to the door as he could, Inuyasha peered in the little window until he spotted her near the front of the big room, diligently writing things down while some boring looking guy droned on and on.  A guy near the back was sleeping in his seat instead of writing, and Inuyasha felt pity for Kagome.  Why did she have to go through things like this in her world?  If she hadn't gone away to college, she wouldn't have become so cold.  She couldn't enjoy it any more than that guy who looked like he couldn't listen to one more word from the boring guy.  Maybe she'd be happy again if he took her away from this place?  Somehow, Inuyasha wasn't sure.  This college thing seemed very important to her, so he couldn't just take it away, no matter what damage it seemed to be doing.  "Kagome," he whispered, sliding down the door and closing his eyes for a short nap, "what am I supposed to do now?"

----------

"I'm hungry." Inuyasha announced as he sat on Kagome's bed, watching her type up her notes.  "Can we go eat food yet?" he wanted to know.

"You just ate, you glutton." Kagome growled.  Opening a desk drawer she pulled out a bag of chips and threw them at him in irritation.  "If you're hungry, this is all you're getting."

"These are good." Inuyasha told her, quickly finishing off the bag and putting it in her garbage can at her warning glance.  "Now I'm thirsty." He announced.

"Too bad." Kagome ignored him, shuffling through her notes as she read over a page quickly before beginning to type it.  Inuyasha picked at the stitching on Kagome's comforter for a while before speaking up again.

"If I can't go into those big rooms with you because my clothes are dirty, can we wash them?" he asked, trying his best to look very pitiful.  That had always worked for Shippo when the little kitsune wanted something from Kagome.

"It won't matter.  Everyone stares at you anyway.  Do you see anyone else wearing a big, red gi?" Kagome shot him an annoyed glance before turning back to her computer.  "I don't have the time just now, but tomorrow is the weekend when I have no classes, so I'll go get you some regular clothes.  Humans don't wear that kind of stuff." She indicated his precious fire rat's fur.  Inuyasha jutted out his lip sadly at her insulting tone.

"Don't be so mean." He pouted, "If you were nicer, you'd have more friends."

"What do you mean by that?" Kagome asked, swiveling her chair to face him.

"That girl…what's her name?  Melissa?  She's the only one of all those girls you live with that likes you.  She's the only one that even talks to you.  It's like they think you're some kind of freak and don't even want to look at you."

"You're the one that's a freak, don't drag me into your unhappy little world." Kagome shot back.  "I have plenty of friends.  You don't know what you're talking about."

"Like who?" Inuyasha spat the words out, hurt by Kagome's jab about him being a freak.  He never thought he'd have to hear _her_ say it.

"Like…" Kagome looked around, staring at the ceiling as though it would offer the answer.

"You don't have any, and you know it." Inuyasha spoke up after a few moments of silence.  Kagome pursed her lips and suddenly she realized how to change the subject and make Inuyasha forget all about how many friends she had and why.

"How did it happen?" she asked bluntly, staring straight into Inuyasha's violet eyes.

"What?  What are you talking about?" he asked, confused by her shift of topic.

"Kikyo died, you said.  How did it happen?" Kagome asked, watching Inuyasha's face blanch visibly.

"I…it doesn't matter." Inuyasha didn't want to have to relive that if he didn't have to.

"Then tell me.  I want to know how she finally died." Kagome demanded.

"Oh…okay." Inuyasha gulped nervously running a hand through his dark hair.  "It was…not long after you left." He began.  "See, there was a massive uprising of youkai that had been scared of the strange miko who came from the Bone-Eater's Well but weren't at all frightened of some hanyou she'd left the Shikon no Tama with." Inuyasha indicated a large area with his hands to show that there were many youkai who fit this description.

"It wasn't really a problem at first.  I could handle most of them easily, and if I was worn out, there were always Sango and Miroku." Inuyasha continued.  "But then, one day Kikyo decided that if she had the Shikon no Tama, she could get her soul back and be alive again.  I wouldn't give it to her, because you had wanted _me_ to use it.  Also, if she did make that wish…you'd lose your soul.  Maybe not right away since you live in the future, and by this time Kikyo would have passed on anyway, but as soon as you came through the well…" Inuyasha didn't finish his thought.  He didn't need to.  "It might have been hard to choose between you and my obligation to Kikyo, but the thing was that it was _my_ obligation, not yours.  You shouldn't have to pay because I couldn't protect her like I should have.  And also…she wasn't the same Kikyo that I'd known before.  I wouldn't give her the Shikon no Tama so…she kidnapped Shippo.  She was going to kill him if I didn't give it to her.  Even before, when she was first revived, Kikyo wasn't capable of something so cold.  I think that maybe it drove her crazy when we killed Naraku and she didn't get her revenge on him like she wanted.  She didn't really have a reason to be here anymore, but she didn't want to die without reason so she became obsessed with the idea of coming back to life.  When it came down to it, I had to either kill her or let her kill Shippo.  She told me that everyone deserves a second chance." Inuyasha paused, staring at his hands as though he could still see the blood.  "But what about you?  What about Shippo?  You hadn't even really had your _first_ chance.  I wouldn't let her take that away.  It wasn't hers to take." Inuyasha clenched his fists tightly and looked away, not able to meet Kagome's surprised gaze.

"_You_ killed her?  But you said…you owed her so much.  How could you bring yourself to do it?" she asked.

"I…let her take my life once already.  I couldn't let her take anything from me again." Inuyasha glanced at her, and it was clear what he meant by that.

"But…you loved her." Kagome was beginning to feel a bit confused by all this.  Inuyasha had chosen her over Kikyo?  That wasn't how it was supposed to happen.  It just wasn't.

"I did.  Long ago." Inuyasha admitted.  "Things change though.  I met you."

"What do you mean by that?" Kagome asked, moving to sit beside him, trying to look at his face, but he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"I thought I made it clear before.  You're what I want, Kagome.  I didn't really realize that until you were gone, but now…you've changed." He looked up at her cautiously.  "You once told me that no matter what, you wanted to always be at my side.  You don't want that anymore, but I do."  Inuyasha tilted his head to the side, "Is it my fault that you've changed?  That you don't care about anyone or trust anyone anymore.  I didn't mean to change you like that."

"Inuyasha, you didn't do anything." Kagome felt a wave of tenderness for the boy beside her, "I'm just…I can't stay the same forever.  I'm sorry that you had to go through so much to be here with me, but I _have_ changed, and I think it's too late for you to try and fix that, Inuyasha.  Just know that it isn't your fault.  Not really."

"Are you being nice to me right now?" Inuyasha looked at her unsurely, a bit off balance by her shift in attitude.

"I guess so." She smiled slightly at his skeptical glance.

"You're gonna be mean again in the morning, aren't you?" he asked.

"Maybe." Kagome admitted, smiling again, larger this time.

"Then…can I hold you right now?" he asked.  Kagome thought about this momentarily and nodded, letting him envelope her in his arms, his scent, his warmth.  It was then that Kagome realized that no matter how she denied it, she _had_ missed Inuyasha, and she was glad he was back.  He sighed heavily, burrowing his nose in her hair as he inhaled her scent deeply.  "I haven't smelled this for so long." He told her, barely above a whisper.

"I missed you, Inuyasha." She admitted, feeling all her walls crumble as he held her close.  "I really did miss you.  It drove me crazy when you didn't come for me.  I thought…you didn't want me.  That you had chosen Kikyo after all."

"Stupid, you know better than that." He tightened his grip momentarily, pulling her whole body into his lap.  "You know how hard it was for me when you left."

"It was hard for me too, you know.  I thought I might never see you again." Kagome felt tears well up in her eyes.  She hadn't let herself cry in so long, it took her a moment to realize what they were.  "Inuyasha, I didn't want to change.  I want everything to go back to how it was." And with that, her tears spilled over as she sobbed silently into her chest.  For a moment, he was shocked that she was crying, but then he held her tighter, stroking her hair and making soft noises to comfort her.

"Don't worry.  At least for now, you're the Kagome I always knew.  The Kagome I fell in love with." Inuyasha whispered into her ear.  Kagome's sobbing only became louder at the words, and Inuyasha began to worry about it.  He pulled her up a bit so he could see her tear-streaked face, wiping away the moisture as best he could.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha!  I'm so sorry that I was mean to you.  I just…I made myself stop caring and I guess it got carried away.  I never meant to become this way.  It just hurt so much to love you and be sure that you were with someone else.  I couldn't let myself care anymore." Kagome explained frantically.  "But I guess you can't change how you feel when it's something so strong.  Inuyasha, when…when you kissed me this morning, I was so confused.  I'd convinced myself you didn't want me, but then you did!  I didn't know what to do, so I ran away from it.  I ran away from you, and I'm sorry.  I can't run away, because…I still love you." Kagome burrowed her head into his chest deeply, sobbing as he held her.  Eventually, her tears stopped.  She looked up at him and sniffled, a slow smile spreading over his face as he brushed away her tears with a calloused thumb.

"Feeling any better?" he asked, his tone gentle.  Kagome blushed, realizing they'd just confessed their love to each other.  Now what would happen?

"Inuyasha, I'm glad you came back." She told him, deciding to voice a fear.  "But look at how bitter I became.  If…if you hadn't ever come, do you think I would have lost it like Kikyo did?"

"I don't think you'd ever be able to hurt Shippo no matter how angry you were with me." Inuyasha assured her, kissing her forehead lightly.

"You're right.  He's just…too cute."  Kagome giggled.  "I suppose Kikyo must have really lost it if she was willing to hurt something that cute."

"Must have." Inuyasha's tone was suddenly soft and serious as he brushed a stray tear from the edge of Kagome's lip, letting his finger wander slowly over the moist flesh.  Kagome felt her cheeks redden and her head spin as his eyes closed slightly and he moved forward to kiss her.  Eager for a real kiss, she closed her own eyes and tilted her lips up to meet his.  It was wonderful.  So soft and yet so passionate, just like the Inuyasha that she had learned to see, the Inuyasha she had fallen in love with that hid so often behind a violent and uncaring façade.  Kagome realized that over these seven months, after all the changes of college and loneliness for her, Kikyo's death and becoming human for him, Inuyasha and her had almost switched personalities from the first time they'd met.  True, he was still immature and she was obviously more intellectual, but other than that, it had been an almost complete switch.  He was so…honest now compared to before.  And she had such a hard time letting her feelings show.  Even after all the tears, she still felt an ache in her chest.  But even now, it was reassuring to know that she still wasn't as repressed as he had been.  After the kiss ended, they lay down together, Kagome not even bothering with pajamas.  She was tired, and she wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in Inuyasha's arms.

*****

The End (Of Part 4, That Is)


	5. Looking For Truth

I am sooo sick.  At least I have Yusho here to take care of me.  I don't even feel like rambling a lot in the introduction, but I will say that a lot of you jumped to conclusions about the last chapter, and I don't know how happy this chapter is going to make you, but I explain my choices at the end.  Also, I'd like to add something that I'm sure Jade could tell you all herself.  When I write stories, I'm not necessarily writing to make everyone happy all the time.  I know that sounds cruel, but I know where this story is going, I've thought it through, and no amount of suggestions or bribes will change my mind.  I am such a sadistic person.  Bwahaha!  No, but rest assured, there's only _so_ much evil in me.  Have faith!  I just wanted you all to know that this isn't designed as a fanservice fic or anything like that.  Now, for those of you who either skipped the introduction or those of you who are going to read even though I'm heartless and insensitive, here's part 5!

*****

To Finally Let Go

Part 5

*****

_Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,  
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?  
Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin  
I make the right moves but I'm lost within  
I put on my daily facade but then  
I just end up getting hurt again  
By myself_

-Linkin Park _By Myself_

_Ech, I feel terrible._ Kagome woke up to a sharp pain in her gut.  _Being a woman is so annoying sometimes._ She attempted to stretch before she had to get up and deal with her problems, but something was holding her down firmly.  "What the…" the question died on Kagome's lips as she opened her eyes and found herself facing a somnolent Inuyasha.  Upon further inspection, she realized he was holding her tightly, one arm wrapped around her waist from underneath and the other draped possessively across her back.  _Damn, how can he be holding so tight when he's asleep?_  Kagome was recalling the events of the night before and grimaced as she wriggled in his grip, which only caused him to tighten it.  _This is ridiculous.  I can't believe I got so emotional.  Probably PMS, and I suppose sympathy for him after he told me all about Kikyo._  Kagome pursed her lips in annoyance and decided that she'd do this bit by bit.  First she concentrated on her left leg, which had fallen asleep lodged between Inuyasha's own legs.

_This is such an ecchi position, what was he trying to do to me?_  Kagome growled slightly, wriggling her leg from inside it's prison with no small amount of difficulty.  _And the things I told him!  How am I supposed to explain that!  I didn't mean any of it, did I?_  Kagome paused, trying to ignore her heart's fluttering.  _Of course I didn't.  I got over him long ago.  He hurt me once and I'll never trust him again, not like that.  I'll just have to pretend none of it ever happened.  He'd never bring it up if I'm just cold to him.  Then he'll leave me alone and know I'm not interested.  It was just a burst of emotional weakness, anyway._  Kagome finally freed her leg and decided the next order of business was the arm pinned firmly beneath Inuyasha's upper body.  _Damn, he's heavy._ She thought as she yanked on her arm with no result.  She couldn't really pull away that much anyway, not with his arms holding her so close.  Going back to simply trying to wriggle out of his grasp, Kagome kicked his shins, hoping the pain would make him loosen up his grip.  

Inuyasha did not react to her flailing, except to pull her closer and nuzzle her throat, planting a small kiss where her jaw met her neck.  Kagome's eyes widened, and for one moment, she wavered in her resolve.  A warm feeling bubbled up in her, but she promptly smashed it and made a noise of frustration.  "What the hell am I, your teddy bear?" she asked the still sleeping man.  Or was he sleeping?  She could swear she felt his lips curl up in a smile against her skin as he turned his head down and began placing heated kisses on the juncture of her shoulder and throat.  "What the—OW!!"  Kagome yelped as she felt him bite the spot gently.  It hadn't been much of a bite, Kagome was more surprised than hurt, but the yelp of pain was enough to wake up Inuyasha fully.

"What?  What happened?  Where is it?  I'll kill it!" Inuyasha pulled her against him protectively, looking around for some intruder.

"On top of me, now get _off_!" Kagome kicked at him frantically, slapping him repeatedly with her free hand.  Inuyasha stumbled off the bed and almost dragged her down with him, but he lost his death grip on her when he lost his balance.  After a moment, Inuyasha stood up slowly, rubbing his head from where he'd fallen on it and scowled at her angrily.

"What the hell was that all about?  You're crazy, you know?"  Inuyasha told her.  "I was sure something was killing you or some shit like that!" he was furious.

"You _were_ squeezing me to death just now."  Kagome stood in front of him, arms akimbo.  "What do you think I am, anyway?"

"I thought…last night…you said…" Inuyasha's anger melted into confusion.

"I said what?  'If you have a bad dream, you can come sleep with me?'  I don't _remember_ saying anything like that, but maybe I should buy you some stuffed animals today so that you won't have to take that liberty again.  I know you can't help being such a child all the time, but leave me out of it, okay?  I didn't ask for that.  I sleep on my bed, and no one else does!  Got it?"  Kagome berated him as Inuyasha unconsciously shrunk away from her intimidating presence.

"But…" he gulped, completely confused at this point.  Had he imagined all of that last night?

"But what?" her voice was cold as he remembered it being before what had happened…what he thought had happened.

"I'm sorry, nothing.  It must have just been a dream." Inuyasha shook his head sharply.  It had seemed so real, but Kagome wouldn't be this way unless it had only been a dream.  It was strange, though.  He didn't remember climbing into the bed with Kagome.

"Whatever.  I'm going down for breakfast." Kagome didn't invite him along or even seem to care if he came with her until he moved to follow her out the door.  She turned on him swiftly and raised a doubtful eyebrow as she looked him up and down.  Somehow, the way she looked at him with such critical eyes made him feel tiny and unimportant.  "What do you think _you're_ doing?"

"I…wanted food?" he answered hopefully, wondering if that was the correct reply.

"Not until you get cleaned up.  I was too tired to say much of anything yesterday, but I won't be seen with such a…disgusting boy."  Kagome made a face and plucked at his arm, examining the dirt on his sleeve as though it were crawling.  "When's the last time you washed your clothes?  Never?"  Inuyasha was too shocked to answer as she pulled at a lock of his hair and then dropped it as if it had been slimy.  "I suppose you don't even know what a bath is, do you?  Not surprising, I guess."

"I know what a bath is, bitch!" he protested, completely fed up with her attitude.  "But right now I'm hungry and I want some damn food!"

"I don't care!  You're not going anywhere looking like that."  Kagome shot back.

"It shouldn't bother you so much what people think!" Inuyasha stomped his foot stubbornly.  "No one here likes you anyway!"  Kagome's eyes went wide at the last comment and she slapped Inuyasha across the face sharply.

"At least I'm not some disgusting freak who has no sense of loyalty and just kills anything that gets in his way!" She shouted without really thinking and then whirled around and left the room.  Inuyasha could have followed her, but the words had stung too much.  He didn't think he could look at her right now.

_That's not Kagome_.  He realized yet again.  Kagome had always been sensitive and sympathetic to his situation.  She would never say something to hurt him like that.  _It hurts because it's the truth.  It's what you've always known she'll think of you._  Inuyasha told himself, slowly making his way over to the bed to sit.  Remembering the scolding he'd received this morning for being on her bed, Inuyasha let out a long sigh and sat on the floor instead, fingering the hilt of Tetsusaiga that was just poking out from underneath her bed.

_Kagome, where did you go?_

----------

"Kagome, where's that cute friend of yours?" Melissa asked in a friendly teasing tone as Kagome sat next to her with a glass of orange juice, spreading cream cheese over her bagel meticulously so that it was all perfectly even.  "Isn't he hungry?  Or did he eat too much last night?"

"Pshaw."  Kagome rolled her eyes.  "Inuyasha's _never_ eaten too much.  It's physically impossible for his stomach to fill up."

"Then where is he?" Melissa pressed.  She was excited to see that someone was coming to visit Kagome, someone who would remind her of home and perhaps heal whatever ailments troubled Kagome's heart.  Plus, he was cute to look at even if the two of them didn't speak the same language.

"In my room probably.  Moping." Kagome pursed her lips and took a large bite of bagel.  She did _too_ have friends.  He didn't know what he was talking about.

"What ever happened to 'I can't leave him in my room because he acts like a three-year old?'  Aren't you afraid he'll get into your things?"  Melissa teased.

"He wouldn't dare.  We just had a fight, and he knows I'm already mad at him." Kagome told her friend in a cool tone.  "Inuyasha may be a complete idiot, but I have taught him a few things over the years.  And anyways, he always mopes after I yell at him.  He never tries to get even with me."

"Oh, well I guess you know him better than I do."  Melissa pushed a Cheerio around in her bowl for a moment.  "So…what did you guys fight about?"

"First of all, I was already mad that he came with no warning when I didn't really want any visitors." Kagome began to list points on her fingers.  "Second, he's done…something so that it's impossible for him to leave, so I'm stuck with him.  Third, I'm going to have to buy him new clothes because that stupid outfit you saw him in is all he brought.  The idiot didn't even bring shoes.  Fourth, he tried to climb in my bed last night.  And last, he needs a shower and he won't take one just because I'm the one that told him to do it.  He's so stubborn."

"Whoa, wait a minute there!  He tried to sleep with you?" Melissa's eyes bugged out.  "Does he…have feelings for you or something?"

"Inuyasha doesn't know what feelings are.  He's just upset because his old girlfriend died and he's on the rebound." Kagome informed her.  Melissa's eyes somehow became even larger as her mouth dropped open.

"His…his girlfriend…died?" she hissed in a secretive whisper.  "Oh my god, that's terrible…"

"Don't waste your pity on him.  It's his fault she died." Kagome snorted.

"But…that would make it worse…if he loved her and she died…and he blames himself…how horrible." Melissa stared at her cereal bowl, her eyes still wide and her voice low.  "How long ago did…it happen?"

"Who knows?  I think a few months ago or something." Kagome finished off her bagel and took a sip of orange juice.  "But it's true that he does blame himself.  She's been dying for years though.  We all knew it was coming, but he was in denial."

"Well, even if you know something like this is going to happen, it's still hard to deal with when it _does_ finally happen.  He's probably an emotional wreck, Kagome." Melissa took a bite of cereal.  "You should try to be really nice to him since he's already going through so much, don't you think?"

"You don't know Inuyasha."  Kagome snorted and got up, leaving without an explanation.  Melissa stared after her; completely shocked with how insensitive and uncaring Kagome could be about someone she was friends with, someone who obviously cared so much about her.  Maybe it was too late for her.

----------

_Melissa doesn't understand what's going on, and now she's siding with Inuyasha.  I shouldn't have told her anything to start with._  Kagome huffed as she came up the stairs back to her floor.  _She can't possibly understand this situation at all.  Inuyasha's a stubborn bastard, and he doesn't care about anything.  He doesn't deserve any sympathy._  Kagome felt a twinge of guilt at her thoughts, but smothered it without much difficulty.  It wasn't like she had been cruel to him or anything.  Was it really that much to ask for him to take a bath every once in a while?  If he was going to stay with her, he would have to follow her rules.

Kagome opened her door, all ready to yell at Inuyasha to go get cleaned up, but she was too shocked to say anything to the sight that greeted her.  "Dammit, close the door, will you?" Inuyasha quickly rearranged the towel he'd been using on his hair so that it covered his body as well as possible.  "Don't you knock?"

"It's my room." She shot back before thinking.  Her cheeks reddened at the situation they were in.  "I didn't know you were actually going to clean yourself."

"Didn't want you to throw another fit." Inuyasha told her, while managing to make his tone sound as though he could care less if she got angry or not.

"Well…where are your clothes?" she asked, looking around for the bright red outfit.

"Being cleaned." He explained simply.  He moved over to her desk and opened a drawer, pulling out her tin of quarters and opening it to show her one.  "I had to use four of these, and I didn't know if you'd get pissed, but you're the one who told me to clean them in the first place, so I figured you could just deal with it."

"You…how'd you find the laundry room?" Kagome was thoroughly confused.  "And how'd you figure out what to do?"

"Feh.  This place isn't that big.  I found where everyone was taking their clothes, and then I watched a girl do her clothes so I could figure it out." Inuyasha crossed his arms with a look on his face that said he thought it was insulting that she didn't expect that much of him.  "It's not that hard or anything."  Replacing the quarter and closing the tin swiftly, he tossed it back in the drawer.  "Anyway, it's gonna take a while, I think.  So I'm just gonna have to wear this until they're done." Inuyasha indicated the towel and gave her a hopeful look which obviously indicated he was hoping she would have some other suggestion for him.

"Um…is that what you wore to the laundry room?" Kagome imagined the looks a guy in a towel would get wandering around in a women's dorm.

"Of course, what did you think, I was naked?" Inuyasha turned his chin up indignantly.  "Damn girls kept looking at me like I was some…some kinda freak."  At the last, Inuyasha's voice wavered slightly, and Kagome's gaze snapped over to his momentarily pained facial expression.

"Well…this is a women's dorm." Kagome tried to cheer him up without even thinking about what she was doing.  "They just aren't used to seeing guys wearing…so little."

"Feh!  I would have worn more clothes if I had 'em." Inuyasha informed her matter-of-factly, shifting how he was standing as though he could somehow fit more of his body behind the towel wrapped around his waist.  "Doesn't really matter to me anyway." He told her, his voice slightly softened.  "People have always stared at me like that."

"What do you mean?" Kagome tilted her head, not hearing the voice in her head reminding her to _not_ be nice to Inuyasha.

"You said it yourself.  I'm nothing but a freak." Inuyasha looked down at his hands as though he expected to see his claws.  Kagome felt a strong surge of guilt rise up in her.  Those things she had said to Inuyasha…they hadn't been fair.  She had simply been aiming to hurt him as much as possible.

"I'm such a bitch sometimes." She muttered, too softly for Inuyasha to hear her.  Then she stepped forward and touched his hand, covering his fingers with her own.  He looked up at her in surprise.  "I didn't mean that, Inuyasha."  She admitted.  "I…I don't think you're a freak."

"You're doing it again." Inuyasha murmured.  "Just like last night." He narrowed his eyes as though he could see what was causing the personality shift.

"Do…doing what?" Kagome's voice was shaky she noticed that he had stepped closer, putting a hand on her shoulder as he looked at her searchingly.

"You're being nice to me."  Inuyasha's voice was soft and there was a quality to it that she didn't often hear.  Something warm, she thought.  "You remember, don't you?  I knew it happened."

"I…nothing happened." Kagome denied as her heart and mind began battling each other for the right to decide what she should do.  "You…it was a dream that you had, remember?"

"I remember." He lifted his other hand to her hair, brushing his fingers through it and holding the back of her head as though to prevent her escape.  "I think you remember too."  His eyes slid shut as he bent down, pressing his lips to hers and pulling her body against his.  Kagome's face went red as she realized yet again that he was wearing nothing but a towel.  She felt the melting heat of his body, his lips, and it was with great difficulty that she pushed him away.  She hurriedly set her face to a look of rage, hoping the blush was taken for anger.

"What the hell are you doing?"  Kagome yelled at him, evening managing a disgusted tone.  She was getting good at this.  "I told you not to ever try that on me again!"

"But…last night."  Inuyasha looked around for the right words to say.

"Listen to me, you idiot." Kagome hissed.  "_Nothing_ happened last night.  Nothing."

"You can't just change your mind about me every five minutes!" Inuyasha protested, sick of all the mood swings.  "Do you love me or do you hate me?  Make up your mind!"

"I just…I want you to leave me alone!" she cried out at him, confused.  Inuyasha's eyes widened with disappointment at first, but then he pursed his lips and pulled out her quarters.  There was a long silence as he dug out some of them and then closed the tin, putting it back in the drawer.

"Inu…Inuyasha…where are you going?" She asked, feeling fear at the idea that he might just leave.  _It's your own fault for pushing him away and confusing him like that.  Just make up your mind, idiot._ A voice in her head scolded.  Kagome ignored it pointedly.

"For my clothes.  I need to dry them." He answered, his voice cold.  Kagome gasped at the lack of emotion in his voice as he left her alone with her confusion.

*****

The End (Of Part 5, That Is)

Okay, now for a short explanation.  Why is Kagome being a bitch even though she was nice to Inuyasha in part 4?  If you think about it, Kagome built up all those barriers and blocks over seven long months, during which she was unable to contact any of her friends or family, except by phone or letter.  For someone that has gradually become used to being so important to her friends in the Sengoku Jidai, this would be extremely difficult to deal with, being unable to see them.  Furthermore, Inuyasha never visited her as he said he would, and we all know hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn.  Therefore, when he explained why he never came, it mattered very little to her.  At this point in time, she's built up so much loneliness, anger, and self-isolation, mostly due to him, that there's no way he can solve it all with an explanation.  She'd probably still be angry if he was actually tied down and completely restrained, or sealed away for those months.  You see, for all of you who don't already know this, women are completely illogical creatures that base most all of their personal decisions on a variety of emotions, however jumbled said emotions may be.  Don't think that I'm dissing women or anything.  I'm one of them.  But seriously, have you seen how we are?  We don't _really_ think about things logically unless we're disconnected from the situation.  And also, we're stubborn and almost incapable of admitting when we're wrong, so while I seriously doubt that Kagome is now completely as closed off as she appears to be, she's not going to give up all that anger and get rid of that huge grudge in one day.  It's just not realistic.  She's battling with her feelings here!


	6. Compromise

Okay, I feel a little better than I have for a while, but I don't know whether I'm finally done being sick or just really excited that Inuyasha 56 is finally mine all mine!!!  Oh, Jade, it's soooo cute, wait until you see it.  It's great!  For everyone who reviewed, thank you for understanding that Kagome is having irritating amounts of problems dropping the bitch act.  Oh, and just so you all know, part 5 took me a long time because I kept getting so pissed at Kagome that I had to take all these breaks.  It was kind of ridiculous.  Oh well, here's part 6!  And by the way, since I'm feeling better and I finished one of the other stories I was typing, hopefully this story will be updated a bit faster now, especially if I keep getting such a great response!  Oh, and Kumi Boa:  I know, men suck.  Just look at Inuyasha acting like such a baby!  And we all know that Kagome's had to put up with her share of crap from stupid males, so I guess now she's dishing it out.

*****

To Finally Let Go

Part 6

*****

_There's not a minute that goes by_

_Every hour of every day_

_You're such a part of me_

_But I just pulled away_

_Well I'm not the same girl you used to know_

_I wish I said the words I never showed_

_I know you had to go away_

_I died just a little_

_And I feel it now_

_You're the one I need_

_I believe that I would cry just a little_

_Just to have you back now_

_Here with me._

-Michelle Branch _Here With Me_

_This is so boring.  I wish Inuyasha would do something._ Kagome's eyes widened at the unbidden thought as she worked on a paper that wasn't even due for another two weeks.  It had been nearly a week and a half since Kagome had yelled at Inuyasha to leave her alone, and he was doing an amazingly impressive job of doing just that.  It was unbelievable that he could seem to disappear from her life even though he stood beside her all the time.  _He hasn't said five words to me since then._ Kagome realized.  _I must have really hurt him, saying that._  Kagome spared a glance at the former dog demon seated next to her bed.  He sat right there whenever they were in the room.  He didn't dare actually get _on_ her bed.  He even slept like that, just sitting there and looking like the saddest boy in the whole world.

_I really should do something._ Kagome realized, not for the first time during the past days of relative quiet between Inuyasha and her.  _Why?  Didn't you say you'd never let yourself care about someone again?  Aren't you afraid of getting hurt?_ That irritating voice in her head asked.  She knew it was right.  _But…I didn't say that I didn't want any friends.  He can be my friend, can't he?  There's no harm in that._ Kagome thought, but the voice didn't answer this time.  Nodding her head and forgetting her paper, Kagome moved to her bed, sitting down and looking around for something to say.

"So…how do you like the new clothes?" Kagome asked about the clothes they had bought for Inuyasha so that he wouldn't be stared at as much.  He shrugged in reply, refusing to say anything to her.  _He can still be so immature sometimes!_ Fury boiled in Kagome's veins.  Here she was, trying to be nice and he wasn't taking a hint at all.  He was doing his best to make it hard for her.  _It's not like I didn't do anything to deserve it._  Kagome was staring at the back of his head as though she'd be able to see what he was thinking if she looked hard enough.  _His hair is a mess_.  She thought idly.  _I doubt he's ever even brushed it before, not with a real brush.  Such a shame, since it's so beautiful._  Without really thinking it through, Kagome leaned over to her bedside table and grabbed her own brush, sitting behind Inuyasha and letting her legs drop on either side of him as she pulled his hair up onto the bed so that she had easier access to it.

"Wh…what are you doing back there?" he finally spoke up.  Kagome almost jumped out of her skin with surprise at hearing the voice form a sentence for the first time since their argument.  Settling down quickly, Kagome couldn't hide her smug grin, proud that she'd finally gotten him to talk.

"I'm brushing your hair." She informed him as though it was something she often did.

"Feh!  My hair doesn't need it." He argued, but he didn't move, except to wriggle around nervously.  Kagome pursed her lips and grabbed his shoulders in both hands, holding him still.

"I won't hurt you." She told him, remembering how she used to hate it when the old babysitter brushed her hair with rude, insensitive yanks.

"I won't like it." He assured her, remembering how his old governess used to eventually get fed up with his hair and just throw the brush down after yanking at it uselessly for nigh on an hour.

"Fine then, stubborn." She began at the bottom, holding his hair carefully so he didn't have to feel it when she reached a difficult snarl.  This was how her mother had always brushed her hair, and she'd always found it very calming.  Very patiently, Kagome continued through his hair, eventually reaching his head.  By the time she got there and was smoothing out the last of the snarls in his hair, Inuyasha appeared to be dozing.  "Asleep?" she asked as she continued to brush through his hair, just enjoying how the light played on the now gleaming strands.

"Un…feels nice." He answered, not really moving his head, but pushing it toward her a bit, a low rumbling sound coming from him.  Kagome suppressed the sudden urge to giggle at the familiar noise coming from the last place she'd ever expect to hear it.

"Inuyasha…are you _purring_?" she asked, trying with difficulty to keep the laughter out of her voice.  He stiffened beneath her immediately, and the sound disappeared.

"Sorry." He told her ruefully.  "I didn't know I could still do that."

"I…I don't mind.  It's…kind of cute." Kagome assured him.  Dropping the brush, Kagome ran her fingers through his hair, enjoying the play of the strands against her skin as she rubbed his head.  Inuyasha seemed a bit resistant at first, but soon enough, his head dropped back in her lap as he purred in contentment.  Kagome felt a warm silly sort of happiness when he purred, and so she continued to rub at his head and neck as his purple eyes drooped shut.

"Why do you act like this?" Inuyasha asked as the rumbling purr continued.

"What do you mean?" Kagome rubbed the muscles where his neck and shoulders met.

"You know…you know I love you." He told her, eyes opening as he glanced back at her momentarily.  "But you hate me, so why aren't you just mean all the time?  It's harder when you're nice like this and then change your mind over and over again." He told her in a grumpy tone even though his purring continued and he leaned his head forward so she could reach his shoulders better.

"I think…I'm afraid of you, Inuyasha." She told him.  "I don't think that you'll attack me or anything like that, but you've broken my heart before.  I can't just forget about that when you decide you want me after all."

"Kagome?" he asked after a few moments of silence except for his purring.

"Hn?" she answered.

"Did it happen?" he didn't say what he meant because he didn't need to.

"I don't want to talk about that." She answered, her voice hardening once more.

"Why not?" Inuyasha asked.  "You know it happened, don't you?  You remember, I know you do!  Why did you lie?"

"Inuyasha, just shut up." Kagome pulled away from him, returning to her still unfinished paper.  "You don't know what you're talking about."  She sat down angrily and began typing at a frantic pace.  After a while, Inuyasha spoke up.

"You know that if you wanted me to forget about it, you could just say that you didn't mean it." Inuyasha told her.  "If you don't love me than just say it." He insisted.  Kagome was still silently typing as though she had not heard him.  Growling slightly under his breath, Inuyasha strode over to Kagome's chair, turning her to face him and pressing his lips to hers insistently.  He pulled away before she could, holding her shoulders so tight it almost hurt her.  "Say it.  Say that you don't love me and you never will again." His voice had a bit of pleading in it, as though he'd rather she broke his heart than just kept playing around with it.  "Say it!" he growled.

"Inuyasha, go to bed." Kagome answered with a sigh.  The man whirled away from her, throwing his hands up in the air and cursing horribly under his breath.  Kagome rolled her eyes and returned to the end of her paper.  It was hard to concentrate though, for some reason.  _Why didn't I just say it?  I don't love him anymore…do I?_  Kagome had a hard time concentrating on her paper, and it was very late before she finally went to bed.

----------

"Oi, get up!" Inuyasha shook the girl who was still curled up in bed.  "Can't you hear that damn thing?" Inuyasha pointed desperately at the alarm clock that had been ringing for twenty minutes now.  "Come on, you know I can't work it!  Turn it off!" Inuyasha whined.  He didn't dare to break it, not with Kagome being so touchy these days.

"Mm, sleepin" she grumbled as he continued to shake her, pushing his hands away in disapproval.

"Dammit, get up!" Inuyasha pulled the blanket off of the resistant girl who only curled into a tiny ball to warm herself.  "Kagome, come on!"

"Inuyasha, what're you yelling about, go back to bed it's only…" Kagome's eyes went wide as she took in the time on her clock.  She leapt out of bed and tore off her nightgown on the way to the closet for clothes.  Inuyasha's eyes went so wide they looked like they might fall out.  "Ten twenty!  Dammit Inuyasha, why did you let me sleep in like that for!  If I don't hurry, I'll be late to class!"

"I _tried_ to wake you up, but you wouldn't budge!" Inuyasha shot back, her anger helping him recover from his unexpected eye full.  "It's not my fault you sleep like a log!"

"I do _not_ sleep like a log, shut up, you're just trying to piss me off first thing in the morning, now stop!" Kagome exited the closet as she finished pulling her shirt on and picked up her brush before tossing it back down.  "Dammit, I don't have time to do that." Kagome grabbed her bag and ran out of the room with Inuyasha right behind her.

-----------

"God, that professor was so mean." Kagome grumbled.  " 'Did you sleep in or something?  You look terrible Higurashi!'  Who does he think he is?"

"Kagome, you realize that's all you've been talking about since you got back here?" Melissa asked her friend in a soft voice, not hoping to incur her wrath.

"Oi, Kagome, what are you telling Melissa?" Inuyasha demanded that he be informed.

"I told her you're the biggest idiot in the history of hanyou dog demons who turned themselves into humans because they screwed up their wish." Kagome rolled her eyes.

"No you didn't!" Inuyasha insisted, pounding the table with his hand.

"Yeah I did, and she said that she thinks you have an anger management problem." Kagome informed him before turning to Melissa, leaving Inuyasha muttering various curses as he finished off his ham sandwich angrily.

"What'd he say?" she asked.

"He says that my professor was way out of line and he's going to kick his ass if he pulls that shit again." Kagome told her.

"Did he use…all those words?" Melissa's eyes went wide.  Kagome very rarely used such vulgar language.

"Of course.  He doesn't know very many real words so he just cusses a lot to express his emotions." Kagome explained.

"What are you telling her now?" Inuyasha growled dangerously.

"I asked her if she'd seen the new menu since it doesn't have any meat on it, and she said she's surprised that all we get to eat are vegetables.  Also, she's upset that they're cutting out dessert." Kagome told him seriously.

"What? No meat?  No dessert?!"  Inuyasha rose to his feet  "I'm going upstairs before I kill something and get you kicked out of this fucking place."

"Now what?" Melissa asked as Inuyasha stomped out of the room.

"He said that he's going to kill the professor for daring to insult me." Kagome had to hide a small smile behind her sandwich.  She sincerely hoped Inuyasha never learned English or she'd have to quit playing her new favorite game.  It was a bit mean to mistranslate everything the two of them said, she supposed, but it was so much fun, she couldn't resist.

"Um…shouldn't you go after him?" Melissa asked, eyes wide in shock.

"In a bit, I suppose.  I just want to finish my food first." Kagome explained as though this was perfectly sensible.

"What if he goes after your professor?" Melissa wanted to know, "I mean, I know it sounds stupid and everything, but he did look really angry when he left."

"Don't worry, he won't do it." Kagome assured her friend.  "He knows I'd get mad."

"You really have him wrapped around your little finger, don't you?" Melissa asked when she noticed that Kagome had collapsed in giggles.  "Kagome…are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's just…oh, I have to tell you." Kagome wiped tears of mirth from her eyes.  "I suppose I've had enough fun with you two."

"Tell me what?" Melissa looked very confused.

"Well, I've been completely mistranslating everything you say to each other." Kagome couldn't help but start giggling again.  "I'm sorry, I know it sounds mean, but it was just _too_ tempting!  Inuyasha just ran upstairs because I told him we were talking about how the school had decided to stop serving meat and dessert and give us nothing but vegetables."  Kagome collapsed in giggles again.  "He was _so_ angry!  Only Inuyasha would get that upset about food!"

"Kagome…I…I guess that is funny…" Melissa fought down a smile as she realized all that cursing and stomping had been over dessert, but it was hopeless, she fell into a fit of giggles right next to Kagome.  After they had recovered, Melissa wiped her eyes and turned to her friend.  "So…are you going to tell him too?"

"No, he'll figure it out." Kagome told her.  "I think he's pretty suspicious that I've been doing it from the beginning, so I don't think he'll be too upset.  Just really embarrassed that I made him look foolish.  He has more pride than is healthy for anyone."

"Maybe, but you know, he really cares about you.  You should try to be a little nicer to him." Melissa opined.

"How would you know what he thinks of me?" Kagome was suddenly defensive.

"It's so obvious, Kagome.  You don't have to understand what he says to see the way he looks at you.  Have you seen how he glares at any guy that looks at you for too long?  He thinks that he needs to protect you for himself, I think.  It's really kind of adorable to watch him, actually." Melissa blushed slightly and Kagome's eyes widened as she came to a sudden realization.

"You think he's cute, don't you?" Kagome asked her friend, who shook her head vehemently, but her deepening blush belied her answer.

"No…no…okay, yeah, I _do_ think he's cute, but don't worry!  I would never steal him from you.  Just because he's taken doesn't mean I can't look, does it?" Melissa spoke swiftly, her blush becoming even redder.

"He's not mine." Kagome snorted, but a slight blush rose in her own cheeks.  "But…yeah, he's in love with me.  He's told me a few times."

"So?" Melissa prompted impatiently.

"So what?" Kagome replied.  "I don't…I don't like him or anything."

"Really?" Melissa narrowed her eyes.

"Well…I used to." Kagome admitted, but Melissa wasn't satisfied.  "Okay, I think that maybe…maybe I like him a little, but it doesn't matter!  I'm not going to get my heart broken again, so I'm just going to ignore it."

"Are you the _stupidest_ girl in the world?" Melissa was aghast.  "You have this great, and might I add gorgeous, guy head over heels for you and you want him back, but you're not going to let anything happen because you're scared you might get hurt?"

"Yeah…what's wrong with that?" Kagome stuck her chest out defensively.

"Okay, only _everything!_  Are you completely insane?  What are you wasting time for?" Melissa demanded.  "Have you seen the way the other girls stare at him like they're a bunch of starved cats and he's an innocent little mouse?  They know he's staying with you, but they've seen you two together and even though it's obvious he wants you, you act like a total bitch to him, so it's only a matter of time before he gives up.  And _that's_ when they'll go for him, believe me.  If they even wait that long.  You're lucky they haven't stolen him yet.  He was just asking for it that day with the towel…"

"You knew about that?" Kagome yelped.

"All the girls know about it.  They can't wait for his next laundry day." Melissa giggled despite herself, and Kagome rose angrily.  "What is it?"

"I…I'm not saying he's mine or anything, but I won't have any girls throwing themselves all over him."  Kagome managed, swirling around angrily and leaving the table.  Melissa smiled after her.  So maybe it was a bit of an exaggeration, but if things went according to plan, Kagome and Inuyasha would be together in no time at all.  Kagome would thank her in the end…hopefully.

*****

The End (Of Part 6, That Is)


	7. Again?

I'm back!  Writing a story since it's waaaaaay more fun than a lab report about…whatever it is we did in lab.  I don't know, but there were these crystals that started with a "B" and I somehow did it all right even though like an hour into the session I had to leave for a lovely fit of vomiting.  But that's okay!  That was way back on Tuesday.  I'm over it!  Really!  Sooooo, on to part 7!

*****

To Finally Let Go

Part 7

*****

_Sometimes we get second chances_

_And sometimes we never make it past the first_

_It really makes me wonder why_

_Some things happen when they do_

_It really makes me wonder why_

_It was me instead of you._

-Michelle Branch _Second Chances_

"Are you done?" Inuyasha was sitting against Kagome's bed as usual, looking at the clock, which he had made a point to learn all about after the incident with the twenty-minute alarm.  Kagome somewhat regretted explaining it to him, though, because he was utterly fascinated with it.  He thought it must be magical that there could be a little machine that could tell you when it was time to eat, time to wake up, time to go to sleep, time to study, time to go to a class.  Of course, he'd already mastered the use of the calendar, and he had commented to Kagome that he thought it was very considerate of the people who invented calendars to be sure to include days that were just for resting.  Kagome knew he enjoyed weekends since she didn't have to go to class on those days and therefore finished any homework she had very early.  He really didn't like it when Kagome stayed up late.  He told her it made her look scary in the morning, which had earned him a sharp slap and an indignant rebuttal.  Also, he seemed to have some idea that it was unhealthy for her to get small amounts of sleep.

"No." she answered, sighing.  She'd created a monster.  Why didn't Inuyasha simply choose to not learn anything about her world?  He had even found her old Japanese-English dictionary and was slowly learning bits and pieces of the language.  He would sit and read words from it aloud while Kagome corrected pronunciation for him and did her own homework at the same time.  It was impressive how quickly he was learning, but she thought it might also have to do with the fact that he was around it every day.  That was really helping him with grammar and syntax, though he was still very rough with the language.  But then, he'd only been studying it for one month.  What little he did manage certainly impressed her.

"In ten minutes it's gonna be midnight." He told her reproachfully.  _He sounds like my_ mother _for crying out loud!_

"I'm close, don't worry." She sighed and rubbed her temples in irritation as she moved on to the final math problem.  Inuyasha was like this every night now, making sure she got to bed at a reasonable time.

"Does it hurt?" Inuyasha was now crouching before her, the clock forgotten by her bed.

"What?" Kagome raised an eyebrow, slightly amused by the concern shining so obviously in his eyes.  When had Inuyasha become so easy for her to read?

"Your head, it hurts, doesn't it?" he insisted.  "You were rubbing at it again.  You've been doing that all day now."

"I'm fine, it's just stress." Kagome waved a hand dismissively, returning her attention to the problem and working her way through it steadily when she felt warm fingers slide under her hair and rub against her scalp in small circles.

"I…don't really know how to do it." Inuyasha admitted as he massaged her head.  "But it felt so nice when you did it to me that I thought…"

"It feels nice, Inuyasha." Kagome assured him as she felt the pressure in her skull dissolving under his fingertips.  "Thank you."

"Oh.  You're…um, you're welcome." Inuyasha was also experimenting with manners, as he was seemingly sick of Kagome nagging at him for being rude and cussing so much.  It was cute that he tried so hard, but it was so obvious that the whole concept was unfamiliar to him that the situation was almost laughable.

Kagome finished her problem but didn't move, letting Inuyasha's fingers work over her temples and her scalp, down to the taut muscles in her neck.  He accidentally hit an especially tight knot and Kagome sucked air in through her teeth at the pain.  "What'd I do?" Inuyasha froze.  "Did it hurt?"

"Kind of, but it was a good pain." Kagome admitted stretching out her neck enticingly.  "Please don't stop."

"Really?" Inuyasha seemed unsure, but Kagome nodded.  "Okay then." He shrugged, rubbing at her muscles carefully, his clever hands soon finding how to press and where, encouraged by the appreciative noises Kagome was making as he worked the knots loose one after another.

"Gods, Inuyasha, if I could purr…" she made a noise in her throat, her body drooping forward as he loosened all her muscles.  He wasn't sure if he was supposed to laugh at the half serious joke or not, so he settled for a small smile.  Suddenly, Kagome sat up straight and turned around.  "Lets move to my bed so I can lay down." She suggested, obviously not thinking of how this idea would appear to him.  Without waiting for a response, Kagome leapt up and went to lay face down on her bed, shooting Inuyasha the most pitiful look she could manage.  "Come _on_ Inuyasha!  Finish my back!"

"Oh…okay." Inuyasha gulped and moved over to the bed, reaching over to rub at Kagome's back.  The woman gave an exasperated sigh and patted her backside.

"You sit here, genius.  You can reach better." She told him.

"I don't know if…" Inuyasha was desperately trying to hide his blush under his bangs.

"Inuyasha, come on, don't be silly.  We're both adults here." Kagome pulled at his shirt until the hesitant man climbed up on her bed and straddled her back nervously before returning his attentions to her sore muscles.

"Is all this from…stress?" Inuyasha asked.  He was familiar with the term, but he was still unsure that he was using the right word.

"Uh huh." Kagome answered as he kneaded her back carefully.

"From all that work you do all the time?" Inuyasha clarified.

"Yeah." She answered again, her voice drowsy.

"That's stupid.  Why do work if it's hurting your body so much?" Inuyasha demanded, his tone clearly stating there was no excuse for hurting Kagome that he could possibly accept.

"It's not like I have much of a choice in the situation, Inuyasha." Kagome giggled lazily, turning her head slightly.  "I'm sure my teachers would just stop giving me work if I would just tell them that I don't like it."

"You don't have to tease me." Inuyasha muttered as he eased out an especially difficult knot.  Kagome groaned appreciatively at his accomplishment.

"Sorry, I'm just kind of tired." She admitted as Inuyasha carefully brushed a few strands of hair away and went back to her warm neck.  He licked his lips unconsciously at the pale, slender column.

"'S okay." He muttered, his rubbing slowly becoming a sort of caress, taking in the heat of her neck, the tiny hairs at the base of her neck, the soft skin where her jaw-line began.

"Inuyasha, I'm glad you're here." She told him, sleep thick in her voice.  "I was really lonely before you came."

"I know." He pursed his lips, trailing a finger up the line of her throat.  "I missed you too."

"Love you." She mumbled, so quietly he didn't hear the words.

"What?" Inuyasha leaned down to hear her better, but she seemed to have fallen asleep.  Getting up carefully, Inuyasha watched as she rolled over onto her back and then reached over to brush the hair out of her face gently.  He pulled her covers out and over her so she wouldn't get cold.  "I love you." He told the sleeping girl, kissing her forehead softly before turning out the lights to go to sleep.

----------

"Oh man…Inuyasha, can you get me a new pen?" Kagome didn't even turn her head from her professor as she reached over and Inuyasha placed the requested object in her hand.  She didn't really consider what school had been like before Inuyasha had come, and now the year was close to ending.  It was the second to last week of classes, and after that there was a short reading period before finals.

_I'll finally get to go home._ Kagome smiled as she carefully took notes.  _But I'm not sure how I'm supposed to pay for Inuyasha's plane ticket.  Maybe if I talk to mom…_ her thoughts faded away as she felt something warm against her left side.  She turned to see Inuyasha napping with his head next to her arm.  _What a child he is sometimes._ Kagome smiled at the black haired boy and reached over with her free hand to softly stroke his hair.  In very little time, she could hear a very faint humming.  Inuyasha was purring, but it was so quiet that no one really noticed.  Now, if she started _really_ rubbing his head, the whole class would be able to hear.  He could get so loud when he was happy, but Kagome didn't really mind.  She thought it was adorable.  As Kagome continued stroking his head, Inuyasha began to snore softly.  That is, at first it seemed to be soft.  Within minutes, the sound had increased to a comic level and Kagome was trying desperately not to burst into laughter at the curious glances Inuyasha was receiving.  "He's a bit tired." She told the professor when he gave the two of them an extremely annoyed look.  She knew her face was red with her effort to not laugh, and it didn't help her situation any when Inuyasha's hand began twitching like a sleeping dog's paw.  She fought bravely, but the girl on the other side of Inuyasha was not quite so willful as Kagome.  When he made a cute little whimpering noise, she burst into uncontrollable giggles, and at the glares from the professor, she finally had to leave the room.  Her laughter spawned similar reactions from everyone who thought Inuyasha's sleeping habits appeared quite fascinating, and in the end, there were only a few people in the class who weren't laughing besides Kagome, Inuyasha, and the furious professor.

_I'm in for it now._ Kagome sighed when the class ended and the professor motioned for her to come see him.  Strangely, she wasn't angry with Inuyasha.  _It's not his fault he makes funny noises when he sleeps._ She was already defending him before she reached the bottom of the lecture pit.  "Higurashi, I realize that your guest is not a student here and doesn't really have a need to remain conscious through my lectures." The man began in a tight voice.  "However, he is your guest and it is therefore your responsibility to make sure that he doesn't disrupt class like that again."

"I hardly think I can do anything about Inuyasha's snoring.  Maybe if the desks were more comfortable?  He doesn't snore at night, at least not that I've heard." Kagome couldn't believe the attitude she was showing, but it offended her that this man was so concerned about an innocent little nap.  Inuyasha hadn't meant any harm.

"Very cute." The professor gritted.  "Maybe if we encouraged sleeping as opposed to study, we'd consider that helpful suggestion." He shot back.  "That is all, Higurashi."

"Thank you very much, Professor." Kagome stuck her tongue out at his back before going back up to retrieve Inuyasha, who was still sound asleep.

"Mmm….like ramen…" he muttered, stretching slightly as Kagome put her stuff away.  She shook her head affectionately at him, running a hand through his thick black hair as he slept on.

"You're totally hopeless." Kagome lowered herself to his ear, speaking softly since she didn't want to wake the poor boy too roughly.  "Inuyasha, Inuyasha, it's time to get up." She told him.  "Come on, you can sleep when we get back to my room."  Kagome was in no particular hurry since that had been her last class, but she didn't want to wait all day either.  She shook him gently, her face still next to his ear, so close she could smell her own shampoo in his hair.  "Come on, puppy." She giggled at the spur of the moment nickname, but Inuyasha wasn't stirring.  At least no one else was there so she didn't have to feel foolish.  "Inuyasha?" she spoke a bit louder.

"Mmm…like Kagome…" he mumbled, turning his face up and leaning forward for a kiss.  Kagome leapt back with an involuntary yelp at the strong sensation of his lips on hers.  She certainly hadn't expected that.  However, her loud yelp _did_ wake Inuyasha up, so in the end it was all for good.  "Oh, musta fallen asleep." Inuyasha stood up, stretching and letting out a yawn.  "It's time to go?" he prompted her, looking around the empty room.  Kagome nodded, still too shocked to speak.

_It isn't like before.  I can't just push him away, can I?_ She realized as they walked back to her dorm, Inuyasha carrying her things as he always insisted on doing.  _I can't push him away, but why not?_  Kagome let her eyes cast over Inuyasha, who was leading the way up the stairs to her room, puzzling over her feelings.  Once they reached her door, Inuyasha carefully shifted all the books to one hand and turned pleading eyes to Kagome.

"Can I use the key?" he asked pitifully.  Kagome nodded, smiling as she handed him her key chain and he practically danced with excitement.  Inuyasha thought it was quite wonderful that she had all different keys for different purposes.  He had memorized all of them: her room key, her house key, her mail key, her chemistry locker key, her key for her home in Japan, her mother's spare car key, and the key to her back door.  Carefully selecting the right key, Inuyasha showed it to her to show her how clever he was before inserting it into the locked door and turning it carefully until it clicked open.  It was adorable how he was so fascinated by things she took for granted, and it was so cute how he tried to learn everything all at once.  Adorable…

As Inuyasha set Kagome's books down on her dresser, he turned and noticed that she was still standing at the doorway, staring at him as though he'd grown a second head.  Inuyasha quirked his head in surprise, wondering what he did now.  "What is it?" he asked.

"Oh god, I can't believe it." Kagome's voice was small, but he could hear it easily from where he stood.  "I can't…"

"What?"  Inuyasha was worried now.  "Did you forget something?"

"I love you." She spoke, her tone full of disbelief.  "I've fallen in love with you again."

The keys fell from Inuyasha's fingers and jingled against the floor.  He didn't notice.

*****

The End (Of Part 7, That Is)

Okay, how mean am I?  Really, really mean, I know.  Oh well, I'm sure you'll all survive.  Until next time….


	8. At the Beginning

Wow…I wonder if you guys were upset about the ending of part 7?  I couldn't tell from the fact that I got over 30 mostly frantic reviews over the course of two days, demanding the posting of part 8.  Okay, just so you know, I was actually confused by some reviews I got telling me that some people had cried or almost cried at certain parts.  I don't really remember doing an intentionally sad part…wow, I rule!  Although I was really upset at every part where poor Inuyasha was all like "I lovin you sooo much!" and she was like "Die.  Go away."  Ergh, damn you Kagome.  Your life is just _sooo_ hard.  Wanna trade?  I totally would in a second.  Anyway, let's get this show on the road!

*****

To Finally Let Go

Part 8

*****

_We were strangers, starting out on a journey_

_Never dreaming what we'd have to go through_

_Now here we are, and I'm suddenly standing_

_At the beginning with you._

_No one told me I was going to find you_

_Unexpected, what you did to my heart_

_When I lost hope, you were there to remind me_

_This is the start._

-Richard Marx & Donna Lewis _At The Beginning_

(small beginning recap)

Inuyasha watched the girl staring at him with amazement on her face in the doorway, worrying over her strange behavior.  Then she parted her lips, her mouth moving several times as though she was trying to speak but couldn't get her voice to function correctly.  "I love you." She finally managed in a tone full of disbelief.  "I've fallen in love with you again."

Her voice was soft, barely audible in fact, but the words hit Inuyasha so hard he almost stumbled to the ground.  Instead, he made a noise as though someone had punched him hard in the gut, her keys dropping to the ground with an almost cheerful jangle.  Inuyasha didn't notice the loss, didn't notice anything that wasn't related directly to this moment, this deliciously dangerous moment.  He felt strangely vulnerable and cautious, a feeling almost like he'd used to have every new moon when he was open to attacks from his now stronger enemies.  He also felt a strange kind of dizzy joy, something he couldn't really recall having felt before, except for perhaps that night that he'd slept with Kagome in his arms.  _What do I do now?_  He wondered.  His head filled with hundreds of possibilities, ideas clamoring to be heard.  

_Don't trust her, she'll just change her mind again _one voice told him in fear.  _Who cares if she's lying?  Enjoy it while you can_ advised another.  _It'll just hurt worse when she leaves you alone again_ a voice cautioned.  _That's true, she's done it before, she'll probably do it again_ agreed another voice.  _Who cares?  Hold her tight and make her forget about that kind of thing_ a voice shot out.  _She doesn't want you, she just wants to hurt you again_ Inuyasha could suddenly see himself over a month ago, the day she'd told him to leave her alone, crouched in the relative privacy of a bathroom stall, sobbing silently at the pain she had caused him.  _She has hurt me before, worse than anyone else could_ Inuyasha realized as he looked into her eyes, brimming with confused tears.  _Dammit, she's not going to cry, is she?_ Inuyasha couldn't allow her to hurt, no matter how she'd hurt him.  Ignoring the voices of caution screaming for him to stop, Inuyasha lunged forward and hugged her to him tightly.  They were silent for a long moment, simply taking comfort in each other before Inuyasha felt a slight wetness on his chest where her head was resting.  Stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head, he spoke to her softly.

"Don't cry." He told her, a hint of pleading in his voice.  "Come on, you're okay."

"You don't believe me, do you?" she asked, sniffling slightly.  "Because…because of how I've been."

"I…I don't know." He admitted.  "But I don't want you to cry."

"Inuyasha, I'm sorry for how I was at first…I never meant…" Kagome let out a sob, burying her face even deeper in Inuyasha's black shirt.  "I never meant to hurt you, but…I wasn't the same girl you used to know.  I was alone for so long, I forgot about what mattered, forgot how to let people in.  I built walls around myself and stayed here all alone with my work, forgetting why I even shut people out to begin with.  I was…I was lost in my own problems.  And then you showed up, and it stirred up all these feelings…things I'd forgotten about.  I smashed them because I didn't know how to deal with them, and I tried to make you hate me so you wouldn't…be so sweet.  Inuyasha…even then, I think I loved you still, but I was so scared to be hurt again that I wouldn't let anything show.  But then…I felt so guilty, seeing you so sad because of me."  Kagome looked up at Inuyasha's face, seeing the conflict of emotions plainly on his features.  "I couldn't just leave things that way.  Even if you never cared about me how I wanted, you were always kind to me.  At the very least, I could offer you friendship…and besides, it felt good to know that for once I was the one in control.  When you're in a relationship, the person who loves less is the one in control.  You used to be in control back before I left…but now things had changed.  It made me feel safe.  As long as I didn't fall in love with you again and let both of us lose control…but you were so…you wouldn't stop caring about me, no matter how I treated you.  And I guess I could only run from my feelings for so long before they caught up to me again."

Inuyasha felt like he should say something, but words escaped him.  Instead, he let Kagome nestle her head back against his chest and he buried his lips in her silky tresses, pressing a kiss against the top of her head.  "Inuyasha, I lost myself here." She told him.  "I forgot about what mattered, but you came here and brought it all back.  I remember now, and I think it's time for me to finally let go of those walls.  I can't fight against you anymore.  You've been a piece of me so long that I don't think I ever stood a chance trying to push that away."

"Kagome…" he breathed.

"Inuyasha, I _do_ love you." She looked up at him again, "I loved you before, and now I think I love you more than ever for saving me."

"I didn't—" Inuyasha objected.

"You did," Kagome cut him off.  "You saved me before I lost myself for good."

"I…I'm afraid." He told her, blushing slightly in embarrassment at the admission.

"Good.  So am I." Kagome smiled at him softly as the hands twined around his neck played with his hair casually.

"You hurt me." He told her.

"So did you." She answered.

"But I still love you."  He admitted.

"I love you too." She replied.

"I guess…I guess it really is too late, isn't it?" he asked her.

"I guess." She agreed, her eyes drifting shut as he lowered himself for a soft, warm kiss.  It was so sweet, so true that Kagome could feel tears overflow once more.

"No more crying." Inuyasha whispered as they broke, kissing her tears away gently.

"I'll do what I can." She smiled ruefully at him, her eyes drifting from his to something behind him.  Inuyasha turned slightly and noticed with a blush that she was staring fixedly at the bed.

"So…" he gulped, trying to banish several sudden, unbidden thoughts from his mind.  "I…uh…"

"Shut up." Kagome lunged forward, kissing him as she pushed him into the room and just managing to pull the door shut behind them.

Melissa stepped out from behind her hiding place behind the corner of the hallway.  She had only stumbled across the scene, but there was no way she would have interrupted something so sweet.  "It's about time." She spoke to herself, smiling smugly.  "I was starting to think she'd never figure it out."  And with that, Melissa went back to her room, satisfied that someone had finally managed the task she'd been unable to complete herself.  It might not be that simple, but as far as Melissa was concerned, Inuyasha had healed Kagome and brought her back to who she had been.  There might be a few more problems for them to get through, but it would definitely be easier to face those obstacles together.

-----------

"Hello Melissa." Inuyasha said as he sat down next to her.  It was the English phrase he was most comfortable with since he always practiced his English on the friendly redhead.  "Good weather today?" he pointed toward the window and smiled to illustrate his point.

"Yeah, I'm sure _everything's_ nice after the night you must have had." Melissa commented, smiling knowingly.  Inuyasha took several moments to comprehend her statement just before Kagome sat down.  Inuyasha wasn't quite sure what Melissa was getting at, so he repeated the statement to Kagome in Japanese.  Kagome's face went red immediately and after she looked at Melissa and saw the other girl smile wickedly, Kagome buried her face in her arms.

"Kagome, what's wrong?" Inuyasha asked her.  "What'd it mean?"

"Um…nothing." Kagome coughed and shot a glare at Melissa who only burst into giggles.

"He doesn't understand, does he?" Melissa asked her friend.

"I understand you talk now!" Inuyasha stumbled over his words slightly, but his meaning was obviously conveyed.

"No, honey." Kagome told him without even thinking about the term of endearment.  "You say, 'I understood what you said.' Okay?" she explained in English.

"Honey, huh?" Melissa arched an eyebrow at Kagome as Inuyasha nodded in understanding.

"Shut up!" Kagome blushed deeply as Inuyasha regained a confused expression.

"What did she mean now?" he asked her.

"I accidentally called you honey." Kagome explained to him.  "It kind of…it implies that we're…intimate."

"Well…we are." Inuyasha blushed slightly and reached for her hand cautiously, but she didn't move away.  She only blushed at him and smiled.

"I know, Inuyasha, but I think Melissa knew something before I said that and it's kind of…you know." Her blush deepened, speaking for her.

"Oh, yeah." Inuyasha was blushing as well now that he realized that Melissa seemed to know how close Kagome and him were.

"So tell me, did you guys sleep together?" Melissa asked.  Kagome noticed Inuyasha's unsure look and buried her face in her hands.

"Inuyasha, I think we need to go back upstairs." Kagome told him in a pained voice.

"What for?  You don't have any place to go on Saturday." The slight hint of pride in his voice showed how excited he still was to know what day of the week it was.

"Melissa's saying things about what we did last night." She told him, shooting him an urgent glance only slightly ruined by her bright red cheeks.

"But how does she know?" Inuyasha asked.

"I don't know.  Let's leave before she thinks of something else to say." Kagome insisted, standing up and turning to Melissa.  "I'm kind of tired, so I'm going back to bed."

"I am too." Inuyasha added, standing up as well, though he cast a regretful glance at his half finished breakfast.

"Have fun!" she teased.  This time, Inuyasha understood, and he was still feeling embarrassed when they got back to Kagome's room.  It made for a very awkward atmosphere.

"How does she know?  I don't understand." Kagome pouted, pacing the floor restlessly.

"Stop that." Inuyasha told her when he was starting to feel tired just watching her.  "It's no big deal, is it?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean…well, we did…do that kind of thing." Inuyasha explained a bit hesitantly, "So does it really matter if she knows that we're together now?"

"No…I suppose you're right." Kagome walked over to the bed and sat next to him.  "I didn't mean it like that.  I'm sorry if that's how it sounded.  It just bothers me that she would know specifically that it was last night that…things changed."

"Maybe we were acting weird." He suggested.  "It's not like she _saw_ us or anything." Inuyasha assured her.  Kagome clapped her hands over her mouth in sudden realization.

"Oh god, she _did_ see us.  I don't see why I didn't realize…" Kagome faded away and Inuyasha snorted incredulously.

"How _could_ she?" he wanted to know.

"Not…not that, but before.  When we were talking in the doorway?  She could have seen us then." Kagome pointed out.

"Oh…" Inuyasha made a face.  "It's none of her business."

"I know…but it's like you said." Kagome lifted her eyes to his in a manner that was almost shy.  "It's not like we aren't together.  And really, it shouldn't bother us that she knows.  I just wanted to know _how_ she knew.  But…I don't mind her knowing that we're together.  I wouldn't mind everyone knowing, I love you."

"I wanted for you to say that for so long, Kagome." Inuyasha's voice wavered as he tilted her chin up in his hand and leaned forward to kiss her.  She pulled him forward until they both toppled back onto the mattress.  Inuyasha lifted his head to look at Kagome while she brushed his hair away from his face.

"I should feel like this is too fast." She told him honestly.  "I mean, we finally tell each other how we feel and we're immediately lovers.  But I don't know.  I think we just let our feelings sit for too long and now it's like a flood."

"Yeah, it's hard to control." He told her, kissing her temple softly.  "I'm just glad you don't regret what happened, mate."

"I love when you call me that." She sighed happily as he kissed her throat.  "Inuyasha, we should get married."

"Married?" he asked.

"I've explained marriage to you, haven't I?" she asked suddenly.

"Oh, yeah, I was just wondering why." He wanted to know.  "I mean, you're already my mate."

"I know, but my mom won't ever let things stay this way if we don't get married." Kagome explained.  "In my time, they don't understand people saying they're mates.  You have to be married, see?"

"If you want to marry me, you could just ask." He smiled at her knowingly.  "I wouldn't say no."

"How do you know me so well?" Kagome smiled softly up at him.

"Because," he paused to kiss her warmly, "you're my mate." He told her.  "I feel almost like it's always been this way with us, but we just never took that final step."

"That's because we've loved each other for so long, but we were too stupid to do anything about it." Kagome made a soft noise when he bit at her throat.  "But now…now we're together."

"And I won't let you go." He told her, kissing her once more.

*****

The End (Of Part 8, That Is)

Only got a little bit left for this baby, but I may give it a sequel some time.  First thing's first though.  Gotta finish this one.


	9. Discoveries

Guess how many cups of coffee I've had today???  Well, I know it's more than two but probably less than…let's say less than ten.  I LOVE coffee!  I am such an addict…"That office light doesn't have to be fluorescent.  I'll get no pains in the head!  That office chair doesn't have to be foam rubber.  So if I spread, so I spread!  But only one chemical substance gets out the lead!"  Okay…no more musicals for Teresa.  And no more coffee.  I got fake Chinese for dinner!  Woohoo egg rolls and those crunchy little noodly things Agent Willow enjoys soooo much!  Woo!  Okay…I need to calm down.  Whew…okay, I think I got it under control.  Let's get to part 9 before it kicks in again.

*****

To Finally Let Go

Part 9

*****

_Let your pain be my sorrow_

_Let your tears be my tears too_

_Let your courage be my model_

_That the north you find will be true_

_When there's no more information_

_And the compass turns to nowhere_

_That you know well_

_Just let you soul be your pilot_

-Sting _Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot_

"Can you believe how high it went?  Right up into the air, higher and higher to the top of the sky!  We were higher than the _clouds_!" Inuyasha lifted his arms to demonstrate this height.  Kagome sighed slightly, smiling despite herself.  Inuyasha had been going on about the plane from the moment it took off all the way to Japan and during the entire drive home.  He was still not tired of his newest modern discovery.  "And I thought there was no way a big fat bird made of metal would even get _off_ the ground, much less go that high, but it did!"

"Yeah it did." Kagome agreed for what must have been the thousandth time.  She rolled away from him to look at her clock.  One-thirty in the morning.  Would he ever shut up about the plane?  She was exhausted.  "Look, Inuyasha, I'm really glad you liked the plane."

"It was magic!" he exclaimed, sounding as though he might be a five-year-old.

"Yes, really magical." Kagome sighed.  "But the thing is, that was a long flight and I'm really worn out, so could we please go to sleep now?"

"Oh." Inuyasha sounded so pitiful that Kagome knew even in the dark that he was sticking out his lower lip.  He _was_ a five-year-old.  "Sorry."

"Inuyasha, don't pout." Kagome turned back toward where he lay on his back beside her, reaching over to trace the lines of his chest idly with her fingertips.  "You know I think it's wonderful that you're always learning all these things about my world, but I really _do_ need to get to sleep, sweetheart.  And if you don't get any sleep, you'll be cranky tomorrow.  I don't want that."

"I guess." Inuyasha pretended indifference, but the way Kagome was petting his chest had already caused him to start purring softly.  Kagome was glad, since the purring usually made him feel relaxed and he would often times fall asleep if she kept it up for a while.  Unfortunately, with how excited he was about the airplanes, she would likely drift off before he did.

"I love you, Inuyasha." She yawned, snuggling against him and resting her head on his chest, letting the sound of his heart and the low purring rumble lull her asleep.  He wrapped an arm around her, holding her next to him.

"I love you too, Kagome." Inuyasha smiled softly as he felt himself start to fall asleep.

----------

"So you're never gonna have those cool ears _ever_ again?" Souta asked Inuyasha doubtfully as the two of them sat across the table from each other eating big bowls of cereal.  Kagome was in the shower and Inuyasha was beginning to think she was never coming out.  It had been almost half an hour that she'd been in there, and back at her college she never took longer than ten minutes every morning.  Maybe it was because she didn't have to worry about getting to classes.  During the time she'd been getting cleaned, Souta had been interrogating him about the various things he found suspicious, like how Inuyasha had gotten to America, why his hair was now black, and why his "cool ears" were now missing.

"Nope, never again." Inuyasha answered, staring at his bowl of Lucky Charms as though he expected more marshmallows to suddenly appear.  "Dammit, why do they even put these stupid mealy pieces in here anyway?  No one even wants them, the marshmallows are all this cereal's good for!" Inuyasha bemoaned his marshmallow-lacking fate.

"What are you complaining about now sweetie?" Kagome entered the kitchen looking a bit paler than usual as she combed her wet hair.

"Inuyasha wants more marshmallows." Souta explained.

"Are you feeling okay?" Inuyasha frowned at her pallor.

"Mm, just a little tired still, I think." Kagome told him.

"Sit down then." Inuyasha prompted, getting up and urging her into a third chair before he went to the cupboard.  "What kinda cereal do you want?" he asked her, obviously feeling a bit guilty for keeping her up late last night.

"Oh, I'm not really hungry." Kagome winced at the idea of food.

"That's a lie, she always eats two big bowls for breakfast." Souta told the man helpfully.  "She probably isn't eating now cause she doesn't want you to think she's a pig."

"Nah, I wouldn't think that." Inuyasha snorted.  "I eat way more than she does.  Plus, she always had breakfast when we were in America."

"I'm just…not hungry." Kagome told them.  It wasn't a lie, exactly.  She felt sure she'd vomit if she even had one mouthful of cereal.

"Are you sick or something?" Inuyasha narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Not really, but my stomach kind of hurts." Kagome admitted.

"Probably that nasty airplane food." Souta told her in a knowing tone.

"You're probably right." Kagome made a face.  "I should be better in a few hours, I'm sure."  She told Inuyasha who was looking exceptionally worried.

"You should go to bed if you feel bad." Inuyasha told her.

"I'll be fine." Kagome rolled her eyes at him.  "I swear Inuyasha, you're so overprotective."

"It's cause he _loves_ you!" Souta teased, causing a satisfying blush to raise on Inuyasha's cheeks.

"Shut up!" he growled at Kagome's brother, but with the blush and his sheepish smile, it wasn't very convincing.  He turned back to Kagome, "If you aren't feeling good, maybe we should wait on visiting the others."

"Oh…but I really wanted to go see them today." Kagome pouted.  "But I guess you're right."  Inuyasha looked extremely satisfied with this admission, and he puffed out his chest in pride.  Kagome sighed and watched as the boys finished their breakfast.  Really, Inuyasha was such a child sometimes.

----------

"Mama…" Kagome entered her mother's room a few weeks later.  "Mama, I think something's really wrong with me."

"Honey, what is it?" Mrs. Higurashi asked her daughter in concern.

"Well, you know how I haven't gone down the well yet?" Kagome began.  Her mother nodded.  "Well, Inuyasha won't let me because he says I'm too sick.  But the thing is, I only really feel bad for a few hours every morning, but he never believes me when I tell him I feel better in the afternoon cause I'm always sick again the next morning.  And it's getting worse.  At first I just felt kind of queasy but now I wake up every morning and have to puke.  Inuyasha's really worried, but I made him promise not to say anything because I thought it would just go away."

"Kagome, you should have told me right away!" her mother's eyes went wide.  "But I suppose you'll be all right.  I'm about to go shopping, and I have a pretty good idea about what it could be, so I'll pick up a few things, okay sweetie?  Just take it easy and be nice to poor Inuyasha.  He's not wrong to worry about you.  It just shows how much he cares about you."

"Thanks a lot mom." Kagome smiled with relief.  It was true that Inuyasha worried because he loved her, and she knew it, but at this point even Kagome was worried.  That, and she was really sick of vomiting.  _I must have the most obnoxious case of stomach flu ever._

----------

"Uh…mom, this isn't funny." Kagome's voice shook slightly as she looked at the box her mother had just handed her.  "I'm not pregnant."

"I think you might be, honey." Mrs. Higurashi told her.  "I mean, your problem sounds a _lot_ like morning sickness, and you _have_ been a bit moody lately."

"I have not!" Kagome shouted, and then blushed as she realized she had only confirmed her mother's accusation.  "Well, maybe I've been a bit…cranky.  But I hardly think this could be the solution.  I mean…Inuyasha and I…we use…things." Kagome blushed at having to talk about these things with her own mother.

"Well some 'things' don't always work." Her mother smiled sympathetically at Kagome's embarrassment.  "Why don't you just use this so I don't have to feel like I completely wasted all that money."  Mrs. Higurashi reached into her bag and pulled out another test and some stomach medicine.

"I can't believe you bought _two_." Kagome sighed.

"Well, sometimes they can be wrong." Kagome's mother explained, pushing her toward the bathroom firmly.  "Now go on and do it.  I'm sure there's a good chance that this might just be some stomach bug, but indulge your poor old mother, okay?"

"This is so stupid." Kagome sighed as she went into the bathroom, pursing her lips as she started both tests after reading the instructions.  _Wait ten minutes, huh?  Seems kind of funny that your whole life can change in ten minutes._ Kagome snorted incredulously as she tore into the only _useful_ thing her mother had brought her, the stomach medicine.  Swallowing a big, powdery mouthful with a grimace, Kagome decided that rather than sit around and wait for those stupid tests, she'd go see what Inuyasha was up to.

She found him in the living room where Souta was teaching him how to play poker as they sat at the coffee table.  "Oh, come on, Souta." Kagome smiled at the confident grin on her brother's face.  "He's never even seen a deck of cards before.  Don't you think you should start him on something a bit simpler?"

"No, this is fun!  I've never won so many times before!" Souta laughed and Inuyasha pouted and made an adorable whining noise.  Kagome smirked at her brother.

"Well since he's doing so badly, I think I'll help him." Kagome kneeled behind him, resting her hands on his shoulders and rubbing slightly as she leaned forward and looked at his hand.  "What are you playing?"

"Five card draw." Souta was now pouting, knowing that Kagome would lessen his chances of winning every time.

"Inuyasha, put down these two and ask for two more." Kagome whispered in his ear, pointing to two of his cards.

"I know how to do it!" he complained, his pride making it hard for him to accept her help.

"I know, but I think it would be fun to be on a _team_." She suggested.  Inuyasha paused before putting the two cards down and asking for two more.  Kagome was still rubbing his shoulders, and he had just begun to purr quietly.  Souta looked around in utter confusion.

"Hey, can you guys hear that?  I don't see Buyo anywhere though…" he scratched his head before drawing one card for himself.  Kagome burst into giggles as Inuyasha blushed bright red.  "What's so funny?"

"That's…not Buyo." Kagome managed as she laughed.  "It's…it's…Inuyasha!"

"You _purr_?" Souta asked.  Inuyasha looked extremely embarrassed.

"Uh, yeah." He admitted.

"Cool!" Souta exclaimed.

"Wha—really?" Inuyasha was puzzled by Souta's response.

"You know he worships you, Inuyasha." Kagome whispered in his ear.  "Of course he thinks it's cool."  She rubbed his shoulders more firmly, increasing the volume of his purring as he let his eyelids droop happily.

"Yeah…hero." Inuyasha was obviously not paying much attention to his surroundings now.  Kagome giggled and winked at Souta.

"What is it?" he hissed eagerly.

"Watch this." She increased pressure slightly until Inuyasha's body slumped slightly in pleased surrender.  "Hey Inuyasha, isn't Souta cool?"

"Cool." Inuyasha repeated, barely audible above his almost obnoxiously loud purring.

"Don't you wish you could be _just_ like him?" Kagome asked as Souta chuckled appreciatively.

"Just…yeah."  Inuyasha replied, twitching one shoulder.  "Little lower."  Kagome complied and Inuyasha rewarded them with a goofy grin that had Souta laughing outright.

"Hey Inuyasha, do you want to cut all your hair off?" Kagome asked.  Souta's face was red from laughter at this point.

"All…off." Inuyasha repeated.

"Or should we put it in cute pigtails with pretty pink ribbons?"  Souta was laughing so hard he didn't seem to be breathing.

"Pink…yeah." Inuyasha leaned forward and dropped his head in his arms, obviously ready to doze off.

"Hey Inuyasha?" Kagome began even though Souta was panting and motioning for her to stop.  "If you wear the ribbons, shouldn't we get you a nice dress to go with it?"

"Dress…with." Inuyasha yawned, his voice fading away as did his purring when he fell completely asleep.

"That…was so…funny!" Souta managed to tell her between his still existent laughter.

"Yeah, Inuyasha will do anything I say when he's like that.  Sadly, he doesn't remember later, so it's only fun for me." Kagome told him, looking at the clock.  It had been well over ten minutes.  "Hey, I have to go check on something.  Let him just wake on his own, okay?  He shouldn't be long, in that position.  It can't be comfortable."

"Okay." Souta was still giggling a bit when she went back to the bathroom, shaking her head and smiling a bit herself.  It was nice to just…

Kagome's thoughts fled her mind as she looked down at the two tests, her mouth falling open and the blood draining from her face.  "No way." She finally sputtered.  "I can't…can't be…I can't…"  Kagome only stood there, closing her eyes tightly, counting to ten and then looking again, each time hoping that when she reopened her eyes, the tests would have changed to show the result she'd expected.  "I mean…I know…I haven't had my…my period…for a bit…but I'm not…can't be…" she mumbled in disbelief all the while.  Suddenly someone was behind her and Kagome's body froze in fear of who it might be.

"Hey, what's wrong with your brother?" Inuyasha asked, lazily hugging her around the shoulders as he stood behind her.  "I woke up out there and he just started laughing, said something about pink ribbons and…hey, Kagome?"

"Can't have…never could…protection…every time…I can't…no time for this…I can't…afford this…not now…oh God…." She was still mumbling in disbelief.

"Uh, Kagome, are you okay?" Inuyasha followed her eyes down to the two odd looking sticks on the counter.  "Hey, what're those?" he asked.  Kagome suddenly became silent.  She trembled a bit before turning to face Inuyasha, shocked disbelief in her eyes.

"Inuyasha…what'll we do?" she asked, her voice wavering.  "I never thought this would happen, but mom thought that maybe…the sickness…she insisted on the tests and I was just…just humoring her.  I _can't_ be…I can't be…can't be…"

"Can't be what?" Inuyasha looked very worried now to see Kagome in such a state.  "You aren't making sense."

"I'm…Inuyasha…these are tests." Kagome picked up the two sticks in a shaking hand.  "They say…they say I'm pregnant."

*****

The End (Of Part 9, That Is)


	10. Spread the News!

Ooh, *stretches* I feel as though I accomplished great stuff today.  I bought food for when I'm locked in my room for all of Spring break, _and_ I kicked my chem. Lab problem straight in the ass!  Woohoo me!  _And_ right now, Operation: "In Some Countries" a.k.a. Operation: Shun a.k.a. Operation: Walk Like A Man is in a very exciting phase!  (Okay, anyone who _doesn't_ go by Agent Kodama, Willow, or Chousoku should really just pretend I didn't say that.  It is sooo an inside joke.)  Hmm…I kinda don't wanna wait for spring break to eat all my new food…Foooooooodddddd…mmmm…Okay, I better write before I eat the keyboard.

*****

To Finally Let Go

Part 10

*****

_Well I don't know_

_If I'm ready_

_To be the man_

_I have to be_

_I take a breath_

_I take her by my side_

_We stand in awe_

_We've created life._

-Creed _With Arms Wide Open_

"Inuyasha…how can this be right?" Kagome dropped the tests from her shaking hands, collapsing against Inuyasha's chest and sobbing heavily.  The dark-haired man only took a few moments to remember that he needed to keep breathing.

"You're…you're pregnant." He finally responded.  "And so…so it's…mine, right?"

"Now's not the time for you to question me, idiot." Kagome hit his chest weakly, still crying against him.  "Of course it's yours!"

"I didn't…I'm just surprised." Inuyasha's face was soon covered in a huge, sappy grin.  "I'm gonna be a father."

"I can't believe this!  This can't be happening to me!" Kagome was still in tears, and Inuyasha was returned to his senses because of this.

"Kagome…Kagome, we'll be parents." Inuyasha told her, stroking her hair lovingly, but it had the opposite effect of what he had hoped.  Kagome started crying harder again, heaving great sobs and crumpling down further until Inuyasha had to lift her up and carry her back to her room so that she wouldn't fall over in the hall.

"I'm so…I can't believe it…I'll never be happy." Kagome bawled pitifully as he sat her in his lap carefully, stroking her hair gently.

"Kagome…what is it?" Inuyasha didn't understand why she was so upset when there was such good news.

"I'm pregnant, of course!" she yelled at him, her voice quavering.  "My whole life is ruined."

"You're life is…but…" Inuyasha made a confused noise in his throat.  Was she actually _upset_ about this?

"Gods Inuyasha, what will we do?  Huh?" Kagome asked, clutching to his shirt as though she thought he'd run away.  "What are we gonna do?"

"Um…I…what?" Inuyasha was dumbstruck.  Wasn't this a _good_ thing?

"I don't know what to do, Inuyasha." Kagome sobbed.  "I can't…I can't have a baby."

"But…don't you want it?" Inuyasha's voice was more than slightly injured and Kagome looked up at him, sniffling.

"What?" she asked, her voice considerably calmer.

"I thought…I'm happy about this." Inuyasha admitted.  "I thought that you…that you wanted this too.  I thought…you'd want to have a family with me.  I'm sorry."

"Oh no, Inuyasha, please don't get upset." Kagome pleaded as though she had not been hysterical a few moments ago.  "I _do_ want it…it's just…I don't know how we'll be able to keep this baby with me so busy in college.  And…and I don't know if we'll be able to support it."

"But it's ours, Kagome." Inuyasha told her.  "Inside you…that's our love." He touched her stomach gently.  "Don't worry about your school or money or any of that.  This is _us_.  We'll make it work."

"Inuyasha, I love you." Kagome felt tears well up again, but she ignored them, cuddling further into his lap.  "I love you so much."

"Then believe in that." He told her, kissing her head as he leaned back against the headboard.  "Believe in it and nothing will be able to stop you."

----------

"So…so that's it." Kagome licked her dry lips as her mother stared back at her impassively.  Inuyasha squeezed her hand comfortingly.

"Well, dear, if anyone can manage this situation, I'm sure it's you.  Plus, you've got Inuyasha there and he'd rather die than let you down." The older woman finally responded to the news that Kagome was indeed pregnant, and she planned to continue college with Inuyasha to help care for the baby.

"You…you aren't mad?" Kagome squeaked in surprise.

"Why should I be?" her mother asked in interest.  "I wasn't mad before when I gave you the tests, was I?"

"No, but…" Kagome furrowed her brow in confusion.

"I must say, I am a bit disappointed, though."  She shook her head at the couple.  "I was hoping you'd just leave the baby to me.  Think of how adorable it will be, coming from the two of you!  Pity they won't have those sweet little ears though.  You know, you were just the cutest thing when you had those ears, Inuyasha."

"Uh, thank you, Higurashi-san." Inuyasha was also a bit taken aback by this reaction.

"Well mom, at least I've given you full reign of the wedding plans, huh?" Kagome reminded her.

"Oh yes!  Next week!  It'll be just lovely!  I can't wait until you see…" her mother sighed.  "I've got to talk to you about the dress though, Kagome.  And, oh!  You two should invite those other people you know in the past!  I'm sure they'd love to come!"

"Good thinking, mom." Kagome stood up with Inuyasha.  "We'll go see them today then!  I've been dying to go back, you know."

"I don't know if you should…" Inuyasha spoke in a protective tone.

"Oh, I'd like to see you try and stop me!" she teased, running out of the room with him hot on her heels.  Kagome's mother chuckled appreciatively, glad to see that her daughter was so loved and so happy.

----------

"Kagome's never coming back, is she?" Shippo sighed sadly at no one in particular.

"I'm offended that she left without telling _me_." Kouga pouted.  He had showed up looking for Kagome almost the same day that Inuyasha had left for her, and he refused to leave until "his woman" returned.

"Complaining isn't going to get anything done." Sango told them as she sat down the food on their table and swatted absently at Miroku's hand which could have been going for the soup or her breast, but she preferred not to dwell on it.  "Hands off, houshi-sama.  Now everyone come eat.  Sitting there and starving isn't going to bring her back." The woman ordered them briskly.  Kouga and Shippo were really the only visible pouters, but Miroku and her were a bit worried about Kagome as well.  She had been gone for a very long time, and it made them wonder if she intended to return at all.  Kaede might have been worried too, but it was very hard to tell what the older woman was thinking most of the time.

"Hi everyone!  I'm back!" Kagome burst into the house with Inuyasha behind her, looking very put off.

"It's cheating if you throw things at me." He growled.  "You didn't win."

"I got here first, didn't I?" she stuck her tongue out at him before pulling him into the room full of excited surprise.  "Sorry it took me so long, but lots of things have been happening."

"Kagome-mama!" Shippo leapt at her in excitement.  "And you didn't kill Inuyasha!  I'm so glad!"

"Oh, Kagome-chan, it's wonderful to see you and Inuyasha again!" Sango and Miroku went forward to hug her.

"Welcome back , Kagome, dear." Kaede smiled at them warmly.  The happy atmosphere was suddenly rent with an angry growl.

"Dog turd?" Kouga stood up so that the couple could see him.  "What the hell happened to you?" he looked the former hanyou over with a great sense of incredulity.

"Shut up, fucking wimpy wolf." Inuyasha growled back as the tension in the air grew.  Kagome could see where this was going, so she placed herself firmly between the two angry men.

"You two, lets stop that, okay?" she asked, pleading evident in her tone.  "We should be nice to each other now, okay?  Oh!  I see that dinner's ready!" Kagome snatched at the change in subject.  "Let's eat, shall we?"

Soon everyone was seated at the table and eating while Shippo told Kagome ridiculous stories of all the great things he'd done while she was gone.  "So since Inuyasha was gone, I knew the humans would rely on me.  And when this…hugest ever youkai came to attack the village, Sango and Miroku just weren't strong enough…and they almost died!  But I saved them, and then I killed it!"  Shippo told her while everyone attempted to keep straight faces with varying degrees of success.

"Wow, Shippo-chan!  That's great!" Kagome smiled at the young kitsune who was absolutely beaming with pride.

"Hey, you." Inuyasha moved his head so he had a better view of where Kouga was sitting on the other side of Kagome.  "You're sitting too close."

"She's my woman, I can sit as close as I want." Kouga wrapped a casual arm around the shocked girl's shoulders, smiling as Inuyasha's face turned red with rage.

"Shut up!  She's mine, bastard!"  Inuyasha wrapped his own arm around her waist, attempting to pull her back.  Miroku and Sango smiled at each other to hear Inuyasha's words.  He must have confessed then…

"Both of you let _go_!" Kagome flailed her arms, hitting both men in the face and eventually causing them to let go.  "Inuyasha, I'm most upset with you right now.  You know where I stand and you have no call to get jealous." She glared at the pouting man to her right.  "And Kouga, I am _not_ your woman.  Stop trying to make Inuyasha upset!" Kagome shook her head in irritation.  "I should just tell you all what I came for so that maybe _some_ people will know where everything lies." She shot admonitory looks at Kouga and Inuyasha.  Sango and Miroku tilted their heads at each other, unsure of what she could say to clarify things.

"Go on and tell them, Kagome." Kaede urged her, almost as though she already knew what Kagome was going to say.

"I will…I just don't want to be angry when I say this.  It's…happy news, you see." She gave Inuyasha a shy smile and he returned it, placing his hand over hers lightly.

"Hey!  Dog turd!  Keep off her!" Kouga began, but Kagome's glare silenced him.

"Anyway, since I came home, my mother's been planning this, and I would like for all of you to come.  If _all_ of you can behave." She shot a look at Kouga.  "Inuyasha and I are getting married next week." She blushed as Sango clapped her hands together and cooed.  Miroku nodded approval, but Kouga seemed not to really understand.

"What's that mean?" he asked, not familiar with the human ceremony.

"Means she's my _mate_." Inuyasha smirked at Kouga smugly.

"WHAT?!" Kouga leapt up, "Kagome, you've left me for that…that…dog turd?"

"Kouga, I was never really yours to begin with, was I?" Kagome asked him as patiently as she could.

"Well…I told you that…" Kouga looked extremely put out as he sat back down, heaving a huge sigh and mumbling angrily under his breath.

"And…I'm pregnant." Kagome finished telling her news to everyone.

"Congratulations!" Sango cried out.

"At least someone can get a child, huh?" Miroku commented, earning himself a sharp slap in the back of the head from Sango.

"You're gonna have a baby!  Cool!" Shippo leapt up in his excitement.  Kaede only smiled knowingly.  Of course, this news didn't really please Kouga all that much either.

"You let him…ech." Kouga made a disgusted face.  "A little dog turd…I'm sorry for you, Kagome.  Soon enough, though, I'm confident that you'll see your mistake and return to me.  In the meantime, I'll always be here, waiting for you." Kouga kissed her hand, much to Inuyasha's displeasure, before leaving the house.

"Oh, poor Kouga." Sango sighed.

"Poor Kouga?" Inuyasha snorted.  "He's such an ass."

"He had his heart broken, though." Sango explained.

"I'd like to break a few more things for him." Inuyasha replied, obviously not feeling any pity for the wolf youkai who had always pursued Kagome with such infuriatingly obvious feelings.

"He'll be okay, after a while." Kagome told Sango, ignoring Inuyasha.  "I'm sure he'll end up very happy now that he knows how to love."

"Yes, you know, he was a very tender person deep down.  And he's very open with his feelings.  I'm surprised you didn't pick him since Inuyasha was always so closed off." Sango commented and Inuyasha pouted irritably.

"Oh, dear, don't worry." Kagome turned to the disgruntled man beside her.  "I would have never chosen Kouga.  I think that even then, when I first met him, I was in love with you."  She leaned over to kiss him in a placating manner and Shippo gasped in shock.

"You two _kissed_!" he gasped.

"That's nothing compared to the other things they've done." Miroku spoke knowingly, earning yet another smack in the back of his head courtesy of Sango.

"So Kagome, could you explain more about how this wedding will work.  I'm sure it's different where you're from." Sango spoke as though she hadn't just hit Miroku almost as hard as she could.

"Is there food there?" Shippo wanted to know.  Kagome smiled and nodded, letting Inuyasha wrap an arm around her shoulders as she leaned back against him and spent the rest of the night discussing the details of the ceremony with her friends.

*****

The End (Of Part 10, That Is)

Okay, since I was the one who invented this and Jade is bringing it back, I say two can play at that game.  So…

Will Miroku ever stop being such a lech?  Will Sango ever stop trying to keep him in line?  Will Shippo ever stop being cute?  Will Inuyasha try to kick Kouga's ass even though he's only a human now?  Will Kouga crash the wedding?  Does Kaede really know everything or is she just faking?  Will Inuyasha complains if there's no ramen at the reception?  Will anyone be able to make him wear a tux?  Will Shippo be the _most adorable_ _ring bearer_ _ever_!?  Will Miroku and Sango ever just get it over with and admit how they feel?  Will Jade hunt down Kouga and volunteer to be his rebound girlfriend?  Will Inuyasha be forced to change diapers?  Not to mention Myouga!  Stay tuned to the next sap-filled installment!! 


	11. Rin Has Flowers!

Okay, right now Agent Willow really wants me to work on my music video.  I know, there's not many things funnier than hearing Fluffy go "hoo!" in a woman's voice, but it's just gonna have to wait.  Adobe is very moody and won't work if I have other programs running, and Kenshin 13 is FINALLY downloading, so that's what's gonna be happening now.  Plus…I haven't updated in a few days so…yeah.  And oh, Madeleine, I know that your compromise with the tux and the ramen would probably work, but that wouldn't be half as fun!  Plus, um, I'm kinda in a silly mood…so yeah.  Okay, so here comes…Part 11!

*****

To Finally Let Go

Part 11

*****

_What could a guy like me_

_Ever really offer?_

_She's perfect as she can be_

_Why should I even bother?_

_Cause she's so high_

_High above me_

_She's so lovely_

-Tal Bachman _She's So High_

"No one should have to worry this much on their own wedding day." Kagome wrung her hands as her mother worked on finishing Sango's hair.  Kagome had asked the demon huntress to be her maid of honor, and she was probably more excited by the clothes and decorations than by her position.

"Kagome dear, don't do that, you'll ruin those nails." Her mother spoke up calmly.  "Could you tilt your head a bit this way Sango?  Yes, that's better."

"Why are you worried, Kagome?  Everything seems wonderful to me!  Who knew you had such things here?" Sango held up a mirror again to admire the earrings Mrs. Higurashi had given her to match the dress.  "So pretty…"

"Sango, that's _exactly_ what has me worried!" Kagome huffed, trying carefully not to touch her hair or wring her hands again.  It had taken an hour to get them so perfectly manicured and lacquered in silver.  Sango had taken considerably more time to finish; as she kept moving in excitement to see her fingernails glitter.  It had all turned out to be a nightmare.  "You won't sit still, and you're supposed to be so calm all the time!  How can Grandpa and Souta be keeping control of all the guys?  They'll never be ready in time!"

"Kagome, stop yelling.  You're skin will get blotchy and you'll ruin your makeup."  Mrs. Higurashi spoke up in the same perfectly calm voice as before.  "The hardest part of all of this was getting them here.  How many tries did that take again?"

"Five.  They kept getting scared and letting go when they fell." Kagome pouted.  They hadn't had the Shikon no Tama as a way to weaken the gate, so she'd thought up the idea to hold onto Kaede, Shippo, Miroku, and Sango as Inuyasha and her jumped.  Luckily, Kaede had enough sense to get through on the first try.  Kagome doubted it would have been very good for the old woman to smash into the bottom of the well.  The others had been a bit doubtful about the entire process.  It had all been very frustrating.  The fact that Sesshoumaru had appeared with Rin and Jaken about halfway through, insisting to know what had happened to Inuyasha, had not helped matters at all.  Even though matters between Inuyasha and his brother had been stable, if not entirely resolved after the Shikon jewel was finished and Naraku defeated, that did not stop Sesshoumaru from making several snide comments about his brother's now permanent human form as well as the clothes he wore, which were from Kagome's time.  Rin, however, had been ecstatic to be "visiting Kagome" again after so long, and had run around giving each of them flowers, including Jaken, who simply looked resigned to his fate as her babysitter, and Sesshoumaru himself, who actually spared the girl a brief tilting of lips that must have been a smile for him before continuing to interrogate his increasingly irate brother.

When Sesshoumaru demanded to know why they were all attempting to travel to Kagome's time, he had seemed intrigued by the explanation.  He even managed to remain attentive to Kagome while Rin loudly explained to Shippo and Miroku, the only ones that had not been transported successfully yet, that Sesshoumaru-sama and _her_ were going to be married, and for some reason, she was also going to be the flower girl in her own wedding.  When Shippo asked her how she would be both bride and flower girl, she had paused thoughtfully before announcing that, just this once, Jaken would be flower girl instead.  Not surprisingly, Jaken didn't look thrilled at the prospect.  It appeared, however, that Rin was also listening to Kagome through all of this, because while Kagome was explaining what a reception was, Rin stopped in the middle of making a bouquet for Jaken to hold and ran to tug at her beloved Sesshoumaru-sama's sleeve.

"What is it, Rin?" he asked, in a voice surprisingly calm considering that she was holding the half-finished bouquet that was supposedly for their own marriage in her other hand.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin wants to go too!" she had pleaded, in her excitement dropping the flowers as she used both hands to tug on his sleeve.  "Rin wants to see the dancing and the food!  Rin wants to see Kagome in a pretty dress!"

"Rin, I don't think Kagome would like it if—" Sesshoumaru began, but Kagome cut him off, somewhat impatient to get going.

"You can come if you want, but you must behave.  And you can't wear those things." Kagome had told them.  Then she had made a face at Jaken. "And…I don't think he can come.  He's a bit…obvious, wouldn't you say, Inuyasha?"

"Yeah, I don't think that one could pass as human."  Inuyasha agreed.  Rin was ecstatic as Sesshoumaru nodded slightly in acceptance, unable to deny the little girl most anything she truly wanted, though it pained him greatly to admit it.

"I suppose it would be proper that I bear witness as your only living kin, Inuyasha, though you are hardly the brother I once knew." Sesshoumaru could not resist the last jibe, but Inuyasha didn't really notice.  Rin had run up to Kagome and him, yanking on both of their sleeves before placing her request with them.

"Rin will be the flower girl, right?  And she will have a pretty dress!" she insisted.  Kagome and Inuyasha simply exchanged amused glances before shrugging.

"Okay, it's a deal." Kagome nodded, attempting to look as serious as possible.  "But you'll have to be a very good girl."

"Oh, Rin will be very good!" Rin nodded emphatically.  "Just as good as she is for funny green man!"

Jaken shook his head, as though unsure whether he should be overjoyed that Rin was out of his care for a couple days, or worried for those left to watch her.  "Still doesn't know my name, after all this time, and she doesn't know my name." He pouted to himself.

"Jaken, calm yourself.  She'll be fine, I assure you.  You needn't worry for her."  Sesshoumaru teased dryly before going with Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippo, Sango, and Rin into the well.

Rin's definition of being "very good" had turned out to be quite different from what Kagome had envisioned, and she was beginning to have serious regrets about allowing the girl to put on her "pretty dress" supplied by Kagome's mother.  Mrs. Higurashi had been ecstatic at the sudden discovery of a flower girl, as she was beginning to think of asking her boss's daughter to fulfill the duty.  Somehow, after having to deal with the extremely cheerful and rambunctious girl for two days, Kagome's mother still seemed quite fond of her.  Kagome wondered briefly if she had possibly been that excitable in her youth.

"Riiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn haaaassssssss floooowwwwwweeeeerrrrrrssssss!!!!" the girl came tearing into the room, somehow not tripping in her cute little pink dress shoes as she scattered petals at them all before disappearing through the other door.

"Does she have to keep doing that?" Kagome sighed, standing to carefully pick the petals off of her hair and dress as Mrs. Higurashi calmly cleaned any petals off of herself and Sango's now finished hair.

"She's just excited, dear." The older woman smiled softly.  "A cute one, that Rin.  Simply adorable."

"Yeah, adorable." Kagome sighed.  "But she's not helping _me_ calm down."

"Hey, at least she stopped her flower dance."  Sango laughed.  "I mean, it was cute, but if I had to hear that song one more time, I was going to lock her out."

"Oh, she's still doing it for the boys." Mrs. Higurashi told them.  "I went to check on them a while ago and Rin was in there, dancing for that Sesshoumaru man she loves so much.  She's even come up with three more verses.  Grandpa gives her a candy every time she comes through, even though her throwing all those petals means he has to get her more.  Miroku seemed amused by it, and little Shippo certainly thought it was entertaining.  He was trying to come up with a ring dance to go with it, but Inuyasha told him if he lost the ring…well, you know how Inuyasha is sometimes." Kagome's mother smiled.  "No wonder she keeps doing it for them.  She loves an audience, and they seem to keep cheering her on.  It's adorable to watch, really."

"How can they waste time watching her!?  They need to get ready!" Kagome's eyes goggled in panic.  "What'll we do, mom?  The wedding…we have to start in less than an hour!"

"Dear, they were all finished getting ready when I went in there.  You have to remember, once Grandpa convinced Sesshoumaru that he'd also have to wear one of the tuxedoes, it all went very quickly.  Men aren't nearly as much work as us, you see."  Kagome's mother smiled at her daughter warmly and picked up a sack.  "Now let's see, something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.  Lady Kaede was kind enough to give us this as the 'something old,' and quite old it must be if it belonged to someone from the feudal era." Mrs. Higurashi produced a beautifully intricate silver and crystal necklace, which she attached to her wide-eyed daughter's neck.

"Mother…this must be worth a fortune…why…why would she give me this?" Kagome gulped, touching the necklace gingerly.

"She cares a great deal for you, Kagome." Her mother answered.  "Also, she insisted on giving it.  I was doubtful at first, but she claims that a lost hime gave it to her when Kaede found her and healed her wounds before helping her back to her home.  She said that it was something much too extravagant for a common old priestess as herself, and she thought it would suit you much better."

"I'll have…to thank her." Kagome was still a bit overwhelmed by the gift when her mother presented the next one.

"Now, your dress is most certainly new, and that is obviously from me.  So here is something Sango there volunteered as something borrowed." Mrs. Higurashi produced an elegantly simple silver woven bracelet.

"I didn't know you had anything like this." Kagome examined the deceptively simple weave of silver.  Whoever had made this had been very skilled.  "It must be worth…at least…"

"It's part of the dowry my father set aside for me." Sango blushed furiously at her admission.  "He told me that I needn't ever marry, but if I wanted to…it was there.  I went for it right after you explained the idea of weddings in your time to us.  Father hid it well, so I knew it would still be there…I just wanted to help."

"Thank you so much, Sango." Kagome hugged her friend carefully so as not to mess up her hair or dress.

"And then, for something blue." Mrs. Higurashi produced a pair of palest blue gemstone earrings.  "Your friend Melissa, the one who couldn't afford to fly over for the wedding, she spent her money on these instead." Her mother explained, carefully putting them in her daughter's ears.  "You have very good friends, Kagome."

"I…I know it." She smiled, happy and calm for the first time all day.  Mrs. Higurashi went to pick up the veil and delicate flower crown that Rin had been admiring since the moment it was pulled out.  She placed them delicately over her daughter's head, wetness evident in the woman's eyes.  

"There we are, then.  You are a bride, my little Kagome.  A beautiful, perfect bride."  Sango rested her hand on the woman's shoulder in comfort and Mrs. Higurashi sniffed dramatically.  "Well, I shouldn't stand around messing my eye make up.  I'll go get Rin under control."  She swept out of the room, fussing unnecessarily with the rose pinned to her chest.

"You have a very wonderful mother."  Sango told her friend.  "I never really knew my own mother."

"My mom…she has so much love in her.  She'd likely volunteer to be your mother.  I know that she'd adopt Rin if Sesshoumaru could bear to part with her." Kagome smiled softly.  "Thank you so much for this." She indicated the bracelet.

"It's only a loan, think nothing of it." Sango beamed at her.  "I think it's very wonderful, the way you do weddings in your time, with all these cute little presents.  When I get married, I may do it the same way.  It has been so much fun."

"When you get married, huh Sango?" Kagome teased her friend.  "Will that be anytime soon?  Or are you and Miroku going to keep us in suspense forever?  I know the two of you are in love, even if you're both in denial."

"I…I don't…that pervert…wouldn't ever…" Sango stumbled along blushing terribly until Kagome's mother re-entered the room with a now surprisingly behaved and calm Rin in tow.

"Dear Sesshoumaru told her it was time to be a proper young lady and to impress him." Mrs. Higurashi explained, beaming.  Rin was also smiling brightly with the prospect of impressing her dear Sesshoumaru-sama.

"Rin will be good for Sesshoumaru-sama." Rin spoke determinedly.  "He said I can show everyone my flower dance at the reception!"

"Oh boy." Sango forced a smile.  "Can't wait for that."

"How does he control her?" Kagome asked Sango in a whisper, and the other woman shrugged in complete confusion.

----------

Inuyasha resisted the urge to rip off the black bow tie that seemed bent on choking him to death.  Souta and Grandpa had told him it was _supposed_ to be that tight, but he had his doubts about that.  As long as Miroku, Shippo, and especially Sesshoumaru were put through the same suffering, though, Inuyasha didn't really mind.  He was glad at least that the wedding was outside.  He hated being in buildings for too long; it made him feel closed in.  Of course, he'd never really had a problem with spending time indoors while Kagome was there, keeping him comfortable, but she wasn't here now.  Unconsciously, Inuyasha tugged at the tie once more.

"Stop that, you'll look foolish if you ruin that thing." Miroku told him.  "Higurashi-sama says that we will start momentarily.  She wants you to go stand in front of the altar like she showed you yesterday.  Think you can handle that?"

"Do I have to stand in front of all those people?" Inuyasha scrunched his nose up distastefully.  "I hate when people stare at me."

"They don't think you're a freak, Inuyasha.  Well, maybe Sesshoumaru does, but he hardly counts.  I mean, he's the only one out there with a tail."

"I have a tail!" Shippo objected.  Suddenly, he concentrated hard and there was a loud pop as his tail disappeared.  "Now I don't!"

"He's been doing that all day." Inuyasha grumbled.  "When's he gonna stop?"

"He's just practicing for the wedding." Miroku assured him, urging him toward the beginning of the aisle.  "Now get up there if you want to get this wedding over with."

"I'm going, I'm going." Inuyasha grumbled, pouting as he carefully walked down the aisle, trying to ignore all the eyes that moved to watch him.  He had to stop himself from reaching up and covering ears that weren't there anymore.  It was terrible, having everyone stare at him as he stood before the altar all by himself.  Inuyasha felt like he might vomit if he didn't run away and hide.  Childhood memories of faces staring, people laughing and calling him names, throwing things at him, all came flooding back to Inuyasha as he stood there, fighting the strong urge to bolt.  But in those faces, he saw Kagome's mother, smiling warmly at him, trying to reassure him with the power of her unconditional love for all her children, of which she now counted Inuyasha as well.  And there was Souta, staring raptly at him, an expression of idolization and adoration in the younger boy's eyes.  And even Sesshoumaru was reassuring in his own right, not really staring at Inuyasha, but calmly looking around at all the people and decorations.  When his gaze met Inuyasha's, the younger brother caught the slightest hint of approval in the golden eyes.  Even if most of the people staring at him were faceless and strange to Inuyasha, those three helped to calm him and end the dizzying panic that had swept down on him.

And then, just when Inuyasha was regaining his composure, music started to play.  He knew what this meant already from the rehearsal they had gone through the day before.  First came Shippo, winning a number of ooh's and aah's in his small tuxedo from the women who could see the kitsune with his ears and tail hidden as he carefully carried the ring pillow down the aisle, winking at Inuyasha as though he was also trying to put the former hanyou at ease.  Behind him were Sango and Miroku, walking down the aisle with their arms linked.  Miroku was whispering what must have been compliments, as Sango's face was considerably pinker than her dress.  At the end of the aisle, they split and Miroku stood just beside Inuyasha, offering him a short pat on the back before beginning to make eyes at Sango who stood on the other side of the altar, blushing and trying not to stare at Miroku in his tuxedo.  And then Rin, looking pleased to no end, began flinging petals about fervently as she began up the aisle.  

But Inuyasha barely noticed the rambunctious girl when he saw the woman behind her.  Grandpa was leading Kagome down the aisle as everyone turned to stare at her, standing in respect to the bride as she slowly made her way down the aisle.  Inuyasha didn't even feel his mouth drop open as he gaped at the vision before him in a white dress gleaming with silk, trimmed in lace, and creating the impression of a perfect, white princess.  Was this really his Kagome?  The girl he'd nagged so many times to help him find the Shikon shards?  The temperamental firebrand who had punished him over and over with "sits" when he did something she didn't like?  Was this the girl he'd woken up to so many mornings, watching her disheveled hair ripple as she snuggled deeper into his embrace?  The girl he couldn't help but love all the more for her emotional fits and stubborn nature?  This woman before him was Kagome?  How could this be?

"Inuyasha, you look so wonderful." Kagome was beside him now, and he turned to face her fully, seeing her blush underneath the veil over her face.

"You…like an angel…" Inuyasha was at a loss for words.  "So beautiful…"

"Thank you," Kagome's blush deepened at his response as they both turned to the preacher, keeping their eyes on each other all the while.

----------

Shippo was growing a bit bored with this long, drawn out ceremony, and he was beginning to wonder if it would ever end, or if all that talk of a big party afterwards with lots of food had all been a trick to get him here.  Rin didn't seem to mind how the wedding dragged on and on.  She was standing beside Sango, still occasionally tossing petals about, though more gently now.  Every now and then, she would wave and blush at Sesshoumaru, who would smile slightly and nod at her in return.  Well, maybe Rin liked getting all dressed up, but Shippo was beginning to feel distinctly uncomfortable with that stupid noose of a tie around his neck.  Also, he wasn't really comfortable with the idea of shoes.  At least he didn't have to worry about his illusion wearing off for some time.  Since it was his main skill, Shippo had been practicing it ever since he met Kagome and Inuyasha, and now he was much better at it than before.  Sango and Miroku didn't really seem to mind having to stand still for so long either.  They were staring at each other, and Sango had a weird little smile on her face.  Shippo thought he caught Miroku mouthing some words to her, but he couldn't really be sure of what.  Sighing impatiently, he noticed that Inuyasha was lifting Kagome's veil to kiss her.  Hadn't Mrs. Higurashi said it ended when they kissed?  It was about time!  Man, Inuyasha could have ended this torture ages ago if he would've just kissed her right away.

----------

Rin was having the time of her life, wearing a pretty pink dress and showing off her flower dance for all the delighted wedding guests.  She knew she was adorable, and she loved all this attention.  Usually, she had to be content with the occasional attention from her beloved Sesshoumaru-sama, but now everyone seemed to think she was the cutest thing they'd ever seen.  She could tell Sesshoumaru-sama was watching her run from group to group, charming them with her innocent demeanor and giving everyone flowers she had picked.  He was her Sesshoumaru-sama, and no matter what she did, he was always the first thing in her mind.  She loved him more than anything else she had ever cared for, and she knew that he loved her too, though he wasn't as obvious about it as she was.

----------

Sesshoumaru sipped at the champagne Kagome's mother had given him.  It was interesting, definitely, with a different flavor entirely from sake.  He only really drank for the flavor, though.  It was extremely difficult for a youkai like him to become inebriated, and besides that, he didn't like losing control of himself.  The demon lord fought down a small smile as Rin ran over to a group of old women and launched into her infamous flower dance for them.  She was like a daughter to him…or something like that.  He couldn't help but be happy that everyone found Rin so very charming.  But at the same time, he couldn't help but feel a bit left out, as she seemed not to mind that he was sitting by himself, away from most of the other guests.  It was all right with him though.  He couldn't help but love the strange little girl, and if she was happy, so was he.  Suddenly, there was a familiar tug on his sleeve, and Sesshoumaru turned in his seat to look at Rin, who was beaming and holding out a flower for him.  He took it, giving her the tiny smile that he spared only for the adorable little girl.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, aren't you lonely sitting all alone?" Rin asked.

"I'm fine, Rin." He answered, sipping his champagne.

"You shouldn't be all alone though." Rin scolded him.  "You should come dance with Rin!"

"Rin…I don't really know if I could do the flower dance all that well." Sesshoumaru told her gently.

"No, not the flower dance!  Let's dance with _them_!" Rin pointed excitedly at the people all dancing in the center of the reception, under a huge canopy.  Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes doubtfully, but then Rin unleashed the Eyes on him.  "Plleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasssse Sesshoumaru-sama?  Rin wants to dance with you sooooooooo much." She pouted, and before he knew it, Sesshoumaru was on his feet, being dragged to the open pavilion.  Rin stretched her arm as high as it would go but then began to pout when it didn't even near his shoulder.

"What is it, Rin?" he asked, upset that she seemed disappointed at something.

"My arm's not long enough to go to your neck." She explained.  "My arm has to go to your neck for us to dance right."  Sesshoumaru felt mounting panic as he noticed her upset building up.  What if she started to cry?  He couldn't handle that.  He had to think of something, and fast.  Worried that he wouldn't be fast enough, Sesshoumaru hurriedly scooped up Rin in his only arm, holding her so that she was closer to his height.

"There you are, is that better?" he asked, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.  If there was one thing that he couldn't handle, it was Rin crying.  Rin's pout dissolved instantly into a look of pure joy as she wrapped one arm around his neck and held out her other hand, wondering what to do about his missing arm before she just settled for holding his sleeve in her hand as though there was an arm there.

"Yay!  Sesshoumaru-sama is the greatest!" she squealed as he moved around, dancing easily since he was holding her up so that she couldn't possibly trip him with any excited dancing.  Not wondering how ridiculous he must look, Sesshoumaru just bathed in the relief that flooded him knowing that the crisis had been successfully averted.

----------

"Would you look at those two?" Sango smiled warmly at the sight of the emotionless youkai dancing with an adorable little girl hoisted up in his arms.  "That's probably the cutest thing I've ever seen."

"Yeah cutest ever…" Miroku seemed to be staring at a girl who was walking by, swaying her hips.  "Uh…see you later Sango." He got off and ran after the girl.  Sango rolled her eyes.  Typical.  He'd seemed almost serious during the ceremony.  Mouthing things about how good she looked across the altar at him.  It had been so sweet.  When they walked down the aisle, he'd whispered in her ear, telling her that he wished it was the two of them getting married that day.  She had wondered if he meant it, but obviously, like all things the monk said, it had just been a spur-of-the-moment empty promise.  It was terrible, how he had led her on for years and all of it had meant nothing to him.  He seemed to truly not care who he was with, as long as it was a woman.  Sango wondered if she should just give up on him.

"Miss, I couldn't help but see you sitting here all alone, and I couldn't allow such a lovely woman to look so sad." A voice interrupted her from her thoughts.  She looked up into familiar violet eyes.  "Care to dance?"

"Miroku…" she smiled softly as he took her hand and led her to the pavilion full of dancing wedding guests.  Even Kagome was dancing with Souta, while Inuyasha danced a bit stiffly with Kagome's mother.  He didn't seem to be able to dance naturally with anyone unless it was Kagome herself.  The former hanyou was darting protective glances at his wife even though she was only dancing with her brother.  "Isn't that funny?" she pointed to the way Inuyasha glared at Souta.  "I mean, it's her _brother_, but he's still jealous."

"It's hard to lose the attention of the one you love, even for a moment." Miroku agreed, smiling warmly.  "It seems Inuyasha, in the end, is more human than most of us."

"It's wonderful to see them finally married, isn't it?" Sango sighed.

"Yes it is.  I suppose we all deserve peace after all we've been through.  Especially those two." Miroku commented.  "Do you plan to marry anyone, Sango?" he asked casually.  Sango felt a blush rise in her cheeks automatically.

"Well…my father did leave that dowry." She mumbled, blushing still, "It'd be…a shame to waste it."

"Yes, a shame." Miroku agreed.  "Have you got someone in mind then?"

"I did…" Sango admitted.  "But I don't think he's really interested in me.  I think all he cares about is that I'm a woman."

"But how could he not want you, Sango?" Miroku arched a dark eyebrow, smiling as though he knew exactly who she was talking about.  "Can't he see how much there is to love about you?"

"I don't think he really sees me." Sango told him.

"He doesn't see the way your eyes become darker when you feel something strongly?" Miroku asked, as though this was offhand.  "He doesn't see the way you watch him sleep while you drink your tea?  He doesn't see how you always make sure his blankets are fresh and he has clean robes to wear?  He doesn't see how you always make sure to cook all the things he likes most?  He doesn't see the way your hair shines in the sunlight?  He doesn't see how every morning you put on your powders for him, though you don't need anything to make you more beautiful?  He doesn't see the way you brush your bangs out of your eyes when you're concentrating?  He doesn't see the way you care for everything more vulnerable than yourself, always trying to protect as many as you can?  He doesn't see what a beautiful woman you are?  What kind of man could miss these things?"

"Miroku…I…you see…I…" Sango couldn't believe it.  He knew her so well.  Maybe better than she knew herself, and here she'd been thinking that he couldn't distinguish one woman from the next.  "Miroku…"

"Is something the matter, Sango?" he asked, a slightly amused expression on his face.  She beamed up at him, a smile so brilliant it was hard for him to think.  So he didn't think.  He just dropped his head and let himself taste her lips, finally, after waiting for it so long.  She met his kiss and pressed up into it, twining both arms around his neck as she smiled so hard that she thought it would ruin the kiss.  But it didn't.  Nothing could ruin this thing that had been waiting three years to happen.  When they broke, Miroku's purple eyes swirled with emotion.  "I love you, Sango."

"Miroku…I love…I…" she was completely lost in his eyes, in her happiness, in this moment.

"I know."  Miroku smiled, more than ready to kiss her again.  It was hard to control his urges after so long.  "I know."

----------

"Did you see?  Inuyasha, did you see Sango and Miroku kiss?" Kagome rushed over to her husband after the song had ended, leaving her brother to go back and eat with Shippo.

"Even if I didn't, it's not hard to miss now." Inuyasha jerked his head to where the couple was seemingly locked in an endless series of kisses.  Since they weren't really paying attention to anything else, they kept running into people on accident.  Kagome giggled.

"Oh, Inuyasha, I'm so happy that everything has come together so well." She sighed as they began to dance together, resting her head on his chest and listening to the calming sound of his heart.  "I mean, it's wonderful that we're together, but to see all our friends so happy…it means so much."

"Yeah it does." Inuyasha agreed.  "Though you'd think they could find somewhere more private."

"Hm, yeah." Kagome giggled.  "And did you see your brother dancing with Rin earlier?  It was so cute!"

"I don't really see how she controls him, but it's damn funny to watch." Inuyasha chuckled softly.  "Imagine a strong youkai like him doing whatever that little girl wants."

"Doesn't sound that strange to me." Kagome smiled up at him mischievously.  "Look at us."

"Yeah…but you're different." Inuyasha blushed slightly.  "I…I'd do anything to be with you."

"And I'm glad you did." Kagome kissed his chin.  "You brought us together, and look at us now."

"I'll never let you escape me again." He told her fiercely, and she only smiled.  She was far past trying to escape something so unavoidable.

*****

The End (Of Part 11, That Is)


	12. The End and The Beginning

Oh…the end is here!  The end I tell you, the end!  IT'S DONE!!!  Oh…I feel like I should do my thank you's!  Oh, Jade, do you remember the first story I ever finished on fanfiction.net?  Remember _those_ thank you's?  Ah, those were the days.  I was in serious need of therapy.  Okay, now, for all of you who don't want to hear me thanking everything from that fascinating light on my web cam to Agent Willow's extra cool Kagome figure, I suggest you just skip the rest of the intro.  If you think you might be in here for some reason, or if you like to read what happens when Teresa decides that since she can't have birthday cake she'll just finish off all the Easy Cheese and a box of Nilla Wafers, then go right ahead:

Ahem.  Now, I'd like you all to note that these are not in any particular order, just…um, how I thought of them, so yeah.  Anyways, I want to thank Jade a.k.a. Agent Chousoku for several reasons:  First of all, you were my beta reader, and although I have a sneaking suspicion that you weren't so much concerned with typos and editing as you were with reading the next part as fast as possible, I'm still thankful to you!  Oh, by the way, I got that song we talked about…oh, it's bad.  But I'll send it to you to see how you feel.  Also, you're the one that led to the huge stack of CD's (blanks, originals, and copies) sitting all around my mouse pad and effectively making typing a lot more simple than anything using a mouse.  And also, I think it was mostly because of you and Agent Willow that I brought Rin in, and I think that went over really well.  Speaking of Agent Willow, I must thank you for being the best boyfriend ever to exist only in the figments of our devious imaginations and I'm thanking you for the sushi you're gonna buy me on Sunday or Monday or whenever ahead of time just cause I can.  Oh!  And thanks for taking care of Dilly and Harry and me and always feeding us and making me buy food so that I wouldn't starve this week and for giving the longest, silliest reviews and for teaching me the pure, innocent joy of hitting things for three hours every Wednesday night!  And then I'd also like to thank Agent Kodama for sticking to it and NOT reading this story until I told her that it was finished because I admit it wouldn't have helped me right if she'd been after me day and night like a rabid fan, nagging for the next part, even though I've kind of gotten used to that type of thing.  But still, it's harder when the person begging you won't go away when you just turn off the computer.  And I want to thank all three of the Secret Agents for whatever they got me for my birthday!  Yay 19!  And yet I still act like a five year old.  No wonder my best friend is a boy.  And I want to thank the Jelly Bellies in my top drawer that I like to eat when I'm stuck in the middle of a chapter.  And of course, my computer, Goad, as my best friend has dubbed it, for putting up with all my misuse of it and still working and never swallowing chapters whole.  That would be upsetting.  And yeah, that little light on my computer's web cam for letting me stare at it when I'm trying to think and not causing any further damage to my already weak eyes.  And all my pictures that are sitting over my computer of all my friends and family for cheering me up and not making me just be really homesick all the time.  Hmm…and I want to thank Winamp and Kazaa since those two programs have brought me hours of musical enjoyment and anyone that's seen me write knows I have to listen to music while I do it.  I want to thank everyone who's ever reviewed this story, especially Inuyasha-loves-Kagome and Lightning and Jezunya and Pengesan-chan and…oh, who am I kidding, everyone who was really good about reviewing, which is a lot more people than I can figure out to list, so yeah.  I want to thank me for thinking this whole thing up, because from the depths of my twisted mind, a few good things eventually emerge (like someone as conceited as me could resist thanking themselves).    I want to thank all those bags of chips that sacrificed themselves to my hours in front of the computer.  Oh!  And I wanna thank Elijah Wood for being hot.  Not that that really contributed to my writing or anything, but he's totally hot.  So yeah.  And I can thank whatever I want to.  Oh!  And I have to thank my blanket for being allllllll mine!  I love my blanket with a love that cannot be matched!  Okay, I feel done now.

*****

To Finally Let Go

Part 12

*****

_Lightning crashes, a new mother cries  
This moment she's been waiting for  
The angel opens her eyes  
Pale blue colored iris,  
Presents the circle  
And puts the glory out to hide, hide_

-Live _Lightning Crashes_

"Dig in everyone!" Melissa hurriedly began devouring her ice cream cone, somehow managing not to get it all over her face.  "Mmm, ice cream."

"Mm, yeah, this was a great idea, Mel." A girl with a short brown bob nodded enthusiastically, sipping her milkshake.  "I missed all of you so much during winter break!"

"I'm sure Kagome didn't miss us though, Tracy." Another girl with short curly black hair teased the girl next to her.  "All alone in the dorm with that man of yours?  Ha, I wonder what _they_ did during Christmas break?"

"Shut up, Alex." Kagome blushed.  "He's coming back." She nodded to her husband who was headed toward their table with two sundaes precariously balanced in his hands.  He set one in front of Kagome and sat next to her, his purple eyes lighting up before he began to devour his own ice cream.  Kagome patted his free hand.  "Thank you Inuyasha."

"Hey, Kagome, I've been meaning to ask you." Tracy smiled maliciously.  "Does Inuyasha have a brother?"

"Or two?" asked Alex.  Melissa laughed before turning her full attention back to her dessert.  Kagome noticed that Inuyasha was so involved in his dessert that he hadn't noticed.  Fine, she could deal with this.

"Actually, he does have one older brother." Kagome smiled slightly.  "A very beautiful man.  Would you like to see a picture?" Kagome asked, digging the wallet out of Inuyasha's pocket.  He smiled at her through his ice cream covered face, but otherwise didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah, let's have a look!" Alex clapped her hands in excitement.  Tracy giggled and even Melissa turned from her ice cream to have a look.

"Let me see…I know we got some pictures of the group at the wedding…hmm…there's Shippo and Rin…Sango and Miroku.  Oh, here we go!" she pulled out one of the many pictures she herself had placed in Inuyasha's wallet.  At times it seemed like it was her wallet.  Sure, he worked hard in a restaurant to get the money to fill that wallet, but she was the one who filled it with pictures and used it most of the time.  Not that she spent all his money on herself, it was just that she still had a better understanding of money than he did.  Kagome recalled all the trouble of getting Inuyasha established so that he could work.  She'd never thought it could be that much trouble to get documents for someone who technically was born before birth certificates existed.  Her mother had somehow been able to get all of the needed papers taken care of back before the wedding, but Kagome wasn't sure if she wanted to know how.  The girls were oohing over the picture of a rather ambivalent looking Sesshoumaru that she had found for them.

"Look at his hair!  And those tattoos!  Ooh, he looks so exotic!" Tracy exclaimed.

"He has such a pretty eye color too!  Almost yellow…" Alex pointed to the picture.

"Who's that?" Melissa pointed to the overexcited looking girl next to Sesshoumaru, waving and tossing petals at the same time.

"That's his little girl, Rin."  Kagome had to fight a malicious smile.  "She's simply adorable with him.  She can get him to do anything she wants."

"His…little girl?" Alex's face fell.

"Oh man…not fair." Tracy sighed.

"All the good ones are taken." Melissa went back to her ice cream while Kagome continued showing wedding pictures to Tracy and Alex.

"Hey!  What are you doing!" Inuyasha finally noticed Kagome's actions as the girls sat giggling over a picture of Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru, and Miroku.  "Don't show them those things!  I thought you said you wouldn't!"

"Oops." Kagome innocently began eating her ice cream.  "I must have forgotten."

"I look like a fool." He pouted.

"Are you kidding?" Tracy balked, looking up.  "Kagome, tell Inuyasha that he's hot."

"Yeah, reassure him." Alex didn't even bother to look up.

"I thought you looked wonderful." Kagome told him.  Inuyasha blushed and looked at his empty bowl, playing with the spoon.

"You're just saying that." He argued halfheartedly.

"Inuyasha," she leaned over to whisper in his ear before kissing his cheek lightly.  "I love you, and I think you're beautiful."

"Kagome…" he sighed as she kissed his jaw softly.

"Uh oh!  See what happens when they aren't supervised!" Melissa laughed, having finished her cone.  "Kagome, Inuyasha, you two stop necking!"

"Yeah, come on.  This is a public place."  Tracy sighed in mock exasperation.

"You two just can't keep your hands to yourself, can you?" Alex shook her head, handing the wallet back to Kagome.

"You two just…" Kagome stopped mid-sentence, dropping the wallet to the ground.  Alex picked it up, looking at Kagome in curiosity.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha had definitely noticed it as well.  "Kagome, are you okay?" he asked, near panic.

"We need to go." She told her husband firmly.  "We need to go to the hospital right now."  Inuyasha made a sound almost like a yelp as he leapt to his feet, leading his very pregnant wife out of the ice cream shop as he was followed by the three girls who were squealing excitedly.

"Oh, it's time!" Melissa was saying.

"I'm so excited!  I bet their baby will be sooo cute!" Tracy opined.

"I was thinking it would be any day now!  I'm just glad we didn't miss it!" Alex added.  "I mean, can you imagine…"

----------

"I got everyone," Inuyasha rushed to Kagome's bedside.  She'd been in labor for almost five hours.  Inuyasha looked around the room as though something was missing.  "Did I miss it?  Or is it still not ready?"

"It's not going to be ready quite yet, dear." Kagome smiled at his concerned examination of her features.  "The first child…you usually have to…ungh." Kagome grunted as a contraction hit.  Inuyasha, who had already been beside her, began hovering over her as though he could ward off attacks.  "Inuyasha, calm down.  It's just another contraction."

"I don't like those things." Inuyasha pouted.  "What's the point of them?"

"Inuyasha, it's all part of the process." Kagome smiled warmly at him.  "You can't protect me from _everything_ you know." She reached up to caress his face, knowing that it was difficult for him to hear things like that.  "Anyway, what took so long?"

"That Ginny girl.  Fucking took forever.  I thought _she_ was having a baby, took her so damn long to get ready.  And then all the girls wanted to go up to the room and get _more_ stuff for you.  They didn't think the bag we packed had enough.  I swear, they were so worried about how many pairs of underwear you'd need…dammit, it took so long."  Inuyasha pouted.  "Woulda been better if you didn't have so many damn friends."

"I bet you threw a fit." Kagome smiled as he blushed and muttered under his breath.  "Oh, Inuyasha, I know you too well."

"I just…didn't want to miss it." He explained sheepishly.

"Well, like I was saying, the first child typically takes the longest.  Mama told me that she was in labor for ten hours before she had me." Kagome explained.

"Ten hours?  That's bullshit!" Inuyasha's lower lip jutted out in a stubborn scowl.  "And you're just gonna keep having those damn contractions?"

"Of course." Kagome winced again as another contraction hit.  "I know you don't like it, but you can't change a natural process to make it easier on me."

"That's stupid." Inuyasha sighed in disappointment.  "At least…at least I can be here with you though.  I just…I hate being so helpless like this."

"Oh, Inuyasha.  The fact that you're here, that helps more than you could possibly know."  Kagome smiled at him.  She noticed something in his hand.  "Hey…is that…a teddy bear?"

"Yeah, I forgot."  Inuyasha handed her the stuffed animal hurriedly.  "Melissa wanted you to have this.  She said to squeeze on it so that I didn't have to suffer so much."  Both of them laughed at the idea that Kagome could seriously injure Inuyasha.

"Oh, I'm definitely squeezing you.  Who do you think got me this way, you or Mr. Bear here?" Kagome teased.

"Well, it better be me or I'm gonna have to kick the shit out of Mr. Bear." Inuyasha cracked his knuckles threateningly and they both laughed again.  Kagome pulled Inuyasha closer and kissed the back of his hand softly, gesturing for him to sit in the chair.  Squeezing her hand softly, he sat and reached over to move her bangs out of her eyes with his free hand.

"Did you call my mom then?" Kagome asked as he started stroking the side of her head softly.  She smiled, knowing what he was doing.  Whenever Inuyasha was tense, she rubbed his head to get him to relax, and he was trying to do just that for her.  It was sweet, and besides that, it worked.

"Yeah, she's real excited, but she knows she won't get to see the baby until May." Inuyasha gave a slight smile to indicate that she had been nagging him again.

"Told you to take lots of pictures, huh?" Kagome laughed sympathetically.  It was strange for Inuyasha to suddenly have someone who acted like his mother now after so long.  He was getting used to it, but the loss of utter independence was a bit trying on him sometimes.  Although, really, he wasn't entirely independent now that they were married anyway.  But that never seemed to make him uncomfortable.  Probably since they'd been working toward it for so long.  The addition of a mother had been very sudden, and Mrs. Higurashi took it very seriously.  Kagome felt sorry for him at times, but she knew that really, he liked it.

"She gave me a ten minute lecture on changing a diaper." Inuyasha sighed.  "Might've even been a bit useful if she hadn't already given me that lecture about twenty times."

"And the ever popular 'How to prepare a bottle' lecture." Kagome reminded him.  She bit her lip as a contraction hit, but barely squeezed Inuyasha's hand.  He continued to stroke her hair.

"And the stroller talk." Inuyasha made a face.

"And 'How to properly hold a baby.'" Kagome added.

"And the talk about which baby foods are best and why." Inuyasha continued.

"And the lectures about how to breathe during birth." Kagome said.

"And the one all about feeding a kid and burping it." Inuyasha sighed.

"I can't believe all the stuff she's told us." Kagome shook her head.  "And so many times…"

"She cares about you." Inuyasha told her seriously.

"And you too." Kagome told him, smiling.  "And the baby, of course."

"I can't believe how upset she was when we told her the kid wouldn't have dog ears." Inuyasha rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as well.  "You humans…just so fascinated with that kind of thing."

"They were cute." Kagome answered, cringing again at a contraction.  "Not that you aren't still completely adorable…"

"Don't talk like that!" Inuyasha pulled a face.  "It makes me sick."

"I bet." Kagome stuck out her tongue but stopped her teasing when Inuyasha leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips.  "What was that for?" she asked, her voice quiet.

"Do I need a reason?" Inuyasha teased gently, smiling at her adoringly.  "It's just…right now…you're so beautiful.  I think…I think it's because of this." His hand left her hair momentarily to touch her swollen stomach.  "I know, I heard you and Sango at the wedding going on about how hard it is to be pregnant cause you get all fat…but I don't think there's anything that makes me feel the way you do, sitting there with my baby inside you.  It's like…it makes you even better."

"Does this mean you're going to lose interest after the baby comes?" Kagome teased, but there were tears in her eyes.  Inuyasha kissed her again.

"We could always have more."  Inuyasha teased back.

"Yeah, that'd be great, being eternally pregnant." Kagome rolled her eyes, smiling lovingly at him, then another contraction hit.  "Man, these things…getting pretty annoying."

"Does it hurt a lot?" Inuyasha was instantly worried.

"It hurts more than before." Kagome admitted, "I think…I think I'm getting close."

"You mean the baby's coming soon?" Inuyasha looked at her stomach as though it was going to suddenly release the infant.

"Not _that_ soon, but soon, yeah.  I think."  Kagome gave him a little smile.  "I've never done this before.  I don't really…know how it's supposed to be."

"Neither do I." Inuyasha admitted.  A doctor entered the room suddenly and smiled at them both brightly.

"I'm back, Ms. Higurashi." She spoke brightly.  "How have the contractions been?"

"I think they might be getting closer." Kagome told her before turning to her husband.  "Inuyasha, this is Dr. Henrow.  She's the one that's going to deliver the baby."

"Inuyasha?  I take it that you're the father?" Dr. Henrow asked politely.  Inuyasha looked her over suspiciously, as though deciding whether he could trust this woman with Kagome.

"Yeah." He answered, shaking the proffered hand, but still glancing at her doubtfully.  Kagome wasn't surprised.  Inuyasha seemed to think sometimes that no one but himself should be allowed near Kagome.  At least the doctor wasn't a man.  Kagome didn't even want to imagine that disaster.  He was a human now, but sometimes, it was all too obvious to Kagome that he'd retained a lot of his youkai instincts.  He was very protective and very jealous of other man even looking at her.  It was reassuring, but at times it caused trouble.

"I'm glad to meet you." Dr. Henrow smiled warmly at him, and Kagome was suddenly glad that the doctor was so friendly.  It seemed to be putting Inuyasha at ease.  Just for extra measure, Kagome squeezed his hand and smiled at him.  Inuyasha still looked a bit nervous, but Kagome knew that he was always going to be nervous about any stranger taking care of her.

"Yeah, me too." He answered, offering her a small smile.  It was a lot, from Inuyasha, so Kagome decided that she could be satisfied with that.  Dr. Henrow was looking over her charts carefully and scribbling something down on her chart while Kagome grunted under the arrival of another contraction.

"Kagome…it's all right if I call you Kagome, right?" she asked smiling as she put down the long piece of paper and let the machines continue as they were.  Kagome nodded and Dr. Henrow looked back down at her chart.  "You seem to be coming along very smoothly.  And not bad time, either!  Not too fast, not too slow for the first time…very good.  Everything looks good, so I'm just going to check your dilation…"

"Her what?" Inuyasha picked up the unfamiliar word immediately.  He was very good at English these days, and he always asked about unfamiliar words.

"We're going to see how open she is for the baby." Dr. Henrow explained simply.  Inuyasha nodded, but kept a careful eye on the doctor as she examined Kagome.

"So how long until the baby comes?" Inuyasha asked as she stood up.

"Well, we can't say for sure, but she seems to be closing in on the end of labor." Dr. Henrow assured him.  "And she seems to be holding up well under the contractions, especially with how close she is.  I think I'll go grab a couple nurses and we'll be back in no time.  This birth should go very smoothly."

----------

"Dammit!" Kagome screamed, squeezing Inuyasha's hand so hard he winced.  "Hurts!" she growled through the contraction, falling back against her pillow and panting.  Inuyasha was nearing panic.

"Why does it hurt her so much?" he asked desperately.

"Think about it, Inuyasha, sir." Dr. Henrow spoke from where she was poised between Kagome's legs.  "She's pushing something roughly the size of a watermelon through a hole the size of a pea.  Of course it hurts."

"Yeah…well…isn't there a better way?" he asked.

"I don't know, really." Dr. Henrow spoke as Kagome started screaming again.  "You'll have to take that up with whoever made us how we are."

"Inuyasha…Inuyasha." Kagome panted as she came down from her contraction.

"Love," Inuyasha wiped the sweat from her brow, kissing her forehead.  "I'm here."

"I…this hurts Inuyasha." Kagome told him.

"I'm going to need you to push now, Kagome." Dr. Henrow told her.  Kagome laughed breathlessly.

"Are you serious?  Push?" Kagome rolled her eyes.  "Sure, yeah, here goes."  Kagome's face became red as she squeezed Inuyasha's hand, every muscle on her body clenched as she pushed with all the force she could.

"Are you okay?" Inuyasha asked her, wiping away more sweat.

"It hurts, that's all." Kagome panted.  "How was that, doctor?"

"Do it again."

"No way!" Kagome growled, complying and squeezing Inuyasha's hand tighter than ever.  True to her word, the teddy bear lay forgotten on the bedside table.  "Dammit!"

"Kagome…" Inuyasha was worried since Kagome rarely cussed and almost never did so in front of other people.

"God damn you, Inuyasha!" she screamed as she pushed once more.  Inuyasha's eyes went wide.

"But I love…" he tried, but on her next push, she squeezed his hand so hard he was cut off.

"Damn you!" she screamed.  "You're the one that did this to me!"

"I didn't mean…"

"Don't worry, sir." Dr. Henrow assured him.  "This is normal.  She's not really mad at you.  Just go with it."

"Go with it?" he squeaked as Kagome pushed again, more curses pouring out of her mouth.  Inuyasha tried to believe the doctor, but Kagome kept telling him how much she hated him and how she wished they'd never met and how she was never going to touch him again.  It was worrying him a great deal.  Then suddenly, her screams mingled with a strange, new sound.  The sound of a baby crying.  Kagome fell back, looking extremely happy and extremely tired, panting and sweating.  Inuyasha ginger reached over to wipe her face, and she smiled up at him, as though she had not just told him to go to hell.

"I love you, Inuyasha." She told the confused man.

"Uh…okay." He answered, glad that she seemed to be back to normal, but still a bit shocked by some of the things she had said.  It was all very well and good for him to say words like that, but this was Kagome.  She was different.

"It's a healthy baby girl." Dr. Henrow's voice had changed yet again.  During Kagome's labor, she'd been very sweet and friendly.  During the birth, she had been very authoritative.  Now she sounded very gentle and kind.  "Would you like to hold her?"  Inuyasha looked up and eagerly took the pink bundle from the doctor, holding it carefully as Kagome's mother had explained.

"So little." He murmured, looking down into his daughter's yellow eyes.  Wait… "Uh…Kagome…um, the baby…" Inuyasha looked around to be sure everyone had left the room.  "She has my eyes."

"Let me hold her." Kagome asked, her voice tired yet eager.  Inuyasha's eyes didn't leave his daughter's face as he handed her over.

"Look…I'm there, in her eyes."  Inuyasha pointed, wanting a confirmation from Kagome.

"Definitely your eyes." She smiled at how excited he was to see this one tie between his child and himself.  "I'm surprised that you could pass that on, since you aren't…you know…anymore."

"I guess…some things are still there.  Just kind of hidden." Inuyasha's face was pressed next to Kagome's cheek in his effort to continue staring at the baby's unique eyes.  "I just…I mean, I knew that this was my baby, but seeing her…it's just…"

"Unbelievable." Kagome sighed happily as the baby closed her eyes, but still didn't lose Inuyasha's interest.  "That's you and me, put together into another person."

"She's beautiful.  I just never thought…I could make something like that." Inuyasha continued to stare at the baby in utter fascination.

"What should we name her, do you think?" Kagome asked.

"I…I don't know." Inuyasha screwed up his face in confusion.

"Hmm…let me think." Kagome stared at the baby, brushing her thumb over it's peaceful little pink cheek.  "How about Haruka?"

"Haruka…"  Inuyasha tested it.  "What made you think of that name?"

"I don't know…I think…I mean, I know it's winter, but having her here, and you…it feels like spring to me." Kagome blushed.

"I think it's a good name." Inuyasha confirmed.  "Haruka.  My daughter, Haruka."  They stayed like that for some time as Kagome fell asleep.  Eventually, Inuyasha had to move so that he could rest his head next to them.  His mate and his child.  His family.  It was strange, but for a long time, he'd never thought he'd have such things.  And here they were.  Everything he could hope for and more.

----------

"Aren't they adorable!" Kagome clapped her hands together as she watched her three-year-old daughter playing with Miroku and Sango's twin boys, Sekatsu and Tsuyo, who were just a year younger than her.  Mostly, their play consisted of chasing each other and falling down in the grass, squealing with pleasure.  Haruka was proficient enough on her feet, but the boys were still getting the hang of running.

"I know.  I can't believe how fast they've all grown." Sango sighed happily.  Miroku and Inuyasha didn't say anything, but they were watching the children as well.  Shippo seemed extremely bored though.  "Shippo, why don't you play with the kids?"

"They're _babies_." He explained.  "They're boring."

"Oh boy." Kagome smiled and Sango and Miroku chuckled.

"I thought you were excited to see us, Shippo." Inuyasha reminded the kitsune.

"Yeah, but only cause that means that you'll talk to Sango and Miroku." Shippo explained.  "That way they don't sit around kissing all day.  It's disgusting."  All the adults laughed at this, but Sango and Miroku flushed slightly.

"I'm sure they just…" Kagome suddenly stood up with a curious expression on her face.  "Wait a second, do any of you feel that?"

"What?" Inuyasha was immediately on his feet.

"Youkai!" Shippo replied, his green eyes going wide.

"Youkai?!" Inuyasha cracked his knuckles, obviously forgetting he had no claws.

"Wait…that youkai…it's…I know it…" Kagome frowned.  "But there's more than one…it's hard to get a sense of which…Kouga!"

"Kouga?!" Inuyasha didn't sound reassured.

"Calm down." Miroku rolled his eyes at the other man.  "You know he's not going to try anything."

"He could." Inuyasha sat back down, crossing his arms and pouting.  Kagome sat next to him again, kissing his cheek comfortingly as they felt the youkai come closer.

"They're here!" Shippo announced.

"They?" Inuyasha was on his feet again.  Kagome sighed as she stood and walked toward the children, trying to get Haruka to calm down and be good.

"All of these…are yours?" a familiar voice asked.  For once, he didn't really sound angry or jealous.  Just surprised.  There was a woman behind him, and Kagome had a strange feeling she knew her from somewhere before.  She was holding a baby, and Kagome immediately understood why Kouga had changed.  She straightened and hugged the wolf youkai, ignoring the disapproving noise from her husband.  Sango was nearby trying to get Sekatsu and Tsuyo under control

"Kouga, it's so good to see you!  It's been almost four years you know!  I thought you'd just…after…ah…that is…" Kagome blushed.  Kouga shook his head to indicate that it was okay.  "Anyway, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Haruka.  Haruka, honey, say hello to nice Mr. Kouga."

Haruka tugged shyly at her pale silver hair, blushing up at the man with the intense blue eyes.  "Hi mister." She finally managed.  Kouga smiled, but somehow, the fangs weren't exactly reassuring to the little girl.  Kagome picked her up so she'd relax.

"Sorry, she's not really used to strangers or…um, youkai." Kagome smiled apologetically.  "Those other two are Sekatsu and Tsuyo, Sango's twins, not mine." Kagome laughed slightly and Kouga joined her.

"Oh, sorry about that…couldn't really tell, you know." Kouga looked closer at Haruka.  "This one though, I knew she had to be yours.  It was a girl, after all.  I could smell it on you, once you said that you were carrying a child."  Kouga explained.  "I felt stupid for not noticing before you said it, though."  Inuyasha had been approaching them slowly, and now that he was beside his wife, he put a possessive arm around her waist.  Kouga chuckled.  "Feh, you think I'm here for that?  Inuyasha, don't worry."

"I wasn't!" Inuyasha answered quickly, but he loosened his arm around her waist.

"Actually, I brought you something." Kouga turned around to take something from the familiar looking woman.  Kagome noticed her pointed ears.  She was a youkai as well then, but who was it?  Kagome was sure she'd seen this woman before.  "Kagura made it, actually." He admitted, "We thought…maybe Haruka would like it."

"Kagura?!" Inuyasha stood in battle stance and Kagome gasped.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." Kouga rubbed the back of his head and smiled.  "Don't worry about her.  She's my mate.  Things have kind of…changed since you guys left, you know?"

"I guess." Kagome arched an eyebrow at Kagura, who only smiled back, looking extremely pleased that they hadn't recognized her.

"Yeah, anyway.  I kind of thought this would be nice…you know, to show that there's no hard feelings or anything." Kouga blushed slightly and produced a cute little doll.  It looked curiously like Inuyasha.  Kouga noticed how Kagome was staring at it and said, "It was Kagura's idea."

"I thought it was cute." Kagura spoke up hopefully.

"Haruka, that nice man wants to give you the doll." Kagome set her daughter down and urged her forward.  Haruka blinked her big golden eyes up at Kouga, blushing shyly.  Kouga lowered himself to her eye level, holding out the doll.

"Hello." Haruka greeted him again, tugging at a silver forelock nervously.  "You mommy's friend?"

"Yeah, I am." Kouga smiled at her as reassuringly as he could with his fangs.  "My name's Kouga."

"My name's Haruka." She held out her tiny hand and he shook it, his smile widening.

"Nice to meet you." Kouga told her.  "I wanted to give you this.  It's a present." He extended his arm so that she could take the doll.

"Looks like me." She giggled in delight as she took the doll.  "But I don't have ears like a doggy!"

"Do you like it?" Kouga asked, his smile still wide.  Kagome couldn't believe how gentle he'd become.  Becoming a father must have really changed him.  And then there was Kagura…

"It's pretty!  Thanks Mr. Kouga!" Haruka, suddenly forgetting her shyness, lunged forward and hugged Kouga, giving the surprised youkai a kiss on the cheek before running over to show her doll to her father, who seemed either amused or embarrassed by the doll's appearance.  It was hard to tell which.

"And I also wanted you guys to meet someone." Kouga beamed with pride as Kagura stepped forward, looking extremely pleased as well.  "This is our son, Yuki.  He's eight months old."

Kagome turned to the porch to see how Miroku and Sango were taking all of this, but they seemed too interested in each other to notice.  Shippo was rolling his eyes at their display, but the twins didn't really notice.  Smiling, Kagome stepped closer to look at the baby youkai.  "Yuki?"

"There was a snow storm when…um…it's a long story." Kouga and Kagura both blushed.

"Would you like to hold him?" Kagura asked.  Kagome nodded and the youkai woman handed the baby to her carefully.  He was cute, with little pointed ears and black hair.  His eyes were a bright red, just like his mother's.  He chortled when Kagome held him, and seemed to be a very happy baby altogether.

"What a sweetheart he is." Kagome smiled down at him.

"He's very quiet." Kagura told the other woman.  "Barely ever cries."

"Wow, now you're making me jealous."  Kagome and Kagura headed to the porch as though they were old friends.  "Mine was almost as loud and obnoxious as her father."

"Hey!" Inuyasha looked up from his daughter, who was using the doll to talk to him.  He had been explaining to her that it needed a sword.  When her father looked away, she ran around looking for the perfect twig that her doll could use as a sword.  Inuyasha watched her, not bothering with the women who were deep in discussion about babies, likely.

"Hey," Kouga was suddenly beside him, and Inuyasha stiffened out of habit, expecting the youkai to attack or at least insult him.  Instead, the wolf was watching his daughter.  "She really looks like you, ya know?"

"Yeah, but the shape of her face makes her like Kagome." Inuyasha answered, comfortable talking about his daughter.  "She's really smart too.  Already learning to read."

"Really?" Kouga asked, interested.

"Yeah, I teach her while Kagome's at work." Inuyasha explained.  The bond that had kept them confined to the same building had given considerably more leeway after she had become his mate.  Almost as though that invisible force had forced them together when their relationship was shaky, but loosened up when they committed to each other.  "We spend all day together, Haruka and me."

"That must be nice." Kouga nodded.  "What's it like with a girl?"

"They're not as quiet as you'd think." Inuyasha commented. "But they know how to control you even at that age."  He pointed to Haruka.

"Damn women." Kouga sighed, sounding defeated.  "Not fair."

"I know, we never knew it, but we never had a chance." Inuyasha spoke, turning to follow Haruka inside the house.  Kouga walked with him.  Somehow, over the years and all the things that had happened, the two of them had gone from bitter rivals to easy friends.  They didn't really think anything of it, but as they sat, talking together, Kagome and Kagura exchanged knowing glances.  Men were so simple.  But those were their men, and they loved them for every little flaw they harbored as well as all the rest.  In the end, isn't that what love's all about?  Letting go of your reservations and learning to trust with your whole heart.

*****

THE END!!!!!!!!!!

I'm serious this time.  Really.  Although I am planning a story to explain how Kouga and Kagura got together.  I'm sure that raised a few eyebrows.  Also, I may write a sequel, but we'll see.


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